Because of my work, I prefer to arrange my schedule early, so I usually finalize the date three or four weeks ahead. Is that too far in advance?
It seems like I get stood up more often when the date is scheduled far ahead than when we arrange it closer to the day. Everyone gives different reasons, such as feeling unwell or work-related issues, but I suspect they’re probably making excuses…
Do people lose interest when the date is set too far in advance? Also, would it be annoying if I sent occasional LINE messages until the day of the date so they don’t forget about me?
Sorry for all the questions, and thank you in advance.
I’m Nana Ayase♡
I usually finalize our dates about three to four weeks in advance. Is that too far ahead?
You only meet once a month, right? I think that’s perfectly fine.
I feel like people cancel at the last minute more often when plans are made further in advance than when we arrange things closer to the date.
Well, isn’t that because you only meet once a month?
Is meeting about once a week considered average?
From a woman’s perspective, meeting only once a month makes me feel like I’m just a secondary arrangement. That’s why they drop me.
Would it be annoying if I sent occasional LINE messages until the date so she wouldn’t forget about me?
Whether she finds it annoying depends on the woman, but I don’t think she’d cut you off if you messaged her once every two weeks or so.
To women, you’re simply someone of that level.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
As the phrase “depending on your profession” suggests, I think it varies depending on the woman’s job.
Personally, I’m fine either way, so I adjust based on the woman I’m seeing.
If she can respond even at the last minute, I may invite her on short notice. If she works shifts and needs to set her schedule a month in advance, I’ll ask her earlier.
Until the arrangement becomes fairly stable, I sometimes send a reminder LINE message when we have plans scheduled well ahead of time.
That said, I’ve never once been stood up at the last minute by a woman I’ve continued seeing.
If a woman cancels on you at the last minute, it’s probably best to assume that you’re not very high on her list of priorities.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I often make plans at the last minute because my work schedule usually isn’t finalized until the week before. I adjust my offers once I have a general idea of my availability. If it’s a woman I’ve met several times, I may even arrange to meet the same day.
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I’m “Paper Airplane,” a male member.
It probably depends on the girl and the circumstances, but with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think it’s best to work around the woman’s schedule.
If she’s canceling a little too often, scheduling three or four weeks in advance might be too far ahead. Even if she’s a girl, cancellations aren’t usually that frequent. It seems like she may be changing plans to fit another papa (a male supporter).
> Is it annoying to send her LINE messages now and then until the day we meet?
It’s fine to reply to messages she sends you, but I’d be cautious about sending more messages than that.
Dates are often arranged the day before, a few days beforehand, or even on the day itself.
Usually, we both know roughly which days work for us and what our schedules look like in the near future, so we generally hit it off and manage to meet up. (Although maybe she’s changing her plans with other papas behind the scenes to see me… Ah, if that’s the case, that would be sad… Well, I guess I don’t really care about that…)
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I’m Aya, a female member.
One of my papas mainly meets during weekday afternoons or evenings, and we decide on our next date while we’re together.
The other is more of an “anytime that works for papa” arrangement, but whenever we meet, we usually set a rough schedule about a month in advance.
With my overseas papa, we often end up planning dates through about two weeks after his return, starting with messages like, “I’ll be back in Japan on such-and-such a date!”
The farther in advance you schedule, the more likely last-minute cancellations become. I think it may mean that the woman sees you as somewhat lower priority, or that she later makes other plans she wants to prioritize.
How often you should message on LINE depends on your relationship with the other person. If the relationship is superficial, she may find it annoying, but if you’re close, the conversation keeps going so naturally that you won’t even wonder whether you should message her.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I don’t think that’s too early.
With my monthly arrangement partner, we meet once a month, so unless something unexpected comes up, we usually set the dates in advance, such as:
・The first Friday of the month
・The Wednesday of the third week
If either of us has plans, we adjust accordingly.
We usually decide the next dates when we meet—about two months ahead, or sometimes even three months ahead.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
It depends on the woman.
With women who decide on the next date when we meet, I usually arrange it one or two weeks in advance, depending on how often we see each other.
With women I casually keep in touch with and make plans with as we go, it might be the same day or a few days ahead. Today, we set a date for 40 minutes later—a new personal record for the shortest notice.
Whether it’s better to plan further ahead or send occasional messages probably depends on her personality and the relationship you have.
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