I’ve received an inexpensive gift too—actually, it cost less than ¥16,000…
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When a man gives a woman a cheap gift and she seems happy, do you ever feel, as Akari mentioned, a little sorry that you didn’t give her something better?
I felt sad because being given something cheap made me think, “So this is all I’m worth to him.” But I was still happy that he had thought of me, so I made sure to show my appreciation.
Have any of you men ever felt bad afterward and thought, “I’ll send her something nicer next time”?
After reading the responses, I found myself hoping that was what he had been thinking at the time.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Not at all.
I think it comes down to having different views on gifts. I only give someone something if it’s something they actually want.
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What I don’t want men to misunderstand is that I’m not complaining about the price of the gift. At least, I’m not.
Whether it’s ¥16,000 or ¥5,000, I want something that feels worth that price—and, more than anything, good taste.
I also want to feel that he understands me.
That’s why I’ve said before that I was happy when a papa gave me a protein bar because I work out, or when Aya-san gave me some nice shampoo—I think that was what it was.
For ¥16,000, I’d be happy with something like a more luxurious bath product, but with a necklace, it’s hard to shake the feeling that it’s cheap.
So if you’re not confident in your taste, an Amazon gift card or cash would honestly be much more appreciated. The Seattle-san method.
And if there’s a PJ who says, “All I got for my birthday was one extra allowance payment,” bring her to me and I’ll give her a lecture.
That’s a little off the original point of the question, but those are my thoughts on gifts.
Marika
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
The only disappointing thing is that you’re judging people by the price of their gifts. I once received a ¥1,500 hand cream from an impoverished 18-year-old college student, and I was just as happy with it as I was with the luxury-brand wallet someone bought me in the past.
I don’t feel sorry for women who would be disappointed based on the price. I cut them off immediately.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
In the past, I’ve given women things like snacks as souvenirs from business trips, or character plush keychains they mentioned liking in conversation.
Rather than calling it regret, I observed that women have various circumstances—such as not being able to take things home—and came to that conclusion.
So, I decided not to give presents anymore.
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
If you can’t say what you want, ask what you want, or even ask about exchanging something, then you’re far too immature for a relationship between men and women—let alone papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
A relationship is about doing what the other person wants for each other…
As for the necklace, if you’d spent a little more, she probably would have exchanged it later for something else she liked.
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I’m Makio, one of the male members.
Gifts are really difficult...
The older guys and ladies answering here may look like they’re giving advice effortlessly, but behind the scenes, they’ve got mountains of failed attempts.
Whenever a new iPhone comes out, I give the most expensive model to every woman I’m seeing at the time. But I keep Christmas gifts under ¥100,000, and for birthdays, I usually give cash.
I used to worry about what the other person thought, but I eventually came to the conclusion that you should simply:
“Give them what you want to give them.”
（笑）
Besides, I always put my all into our regular dates so that the relationship isn’t determined by something as trivial as a gift.
*Maybe I’ll reveal it somewhere someday: my “pre-date preparations.”
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I’m Saito, a columnist♪
I honestly think the answers here are very interesting.
Mac, Aya, and I feel the same way.
I don’t look at the price and think, “I’ll give her something worth this much.”
Whether it’s cheap or expensive, I won’t buy something if it diminishes a woman’s value.
For example, once you learn how those trendy premium breads are made these days, you might not feel like buying them at all—whether they’re expensive or cheap. lol
The value and price of an item are ultimately prices set arbitrarily by the manufacturer, and the production costs may not be all that different.
I don’t think you need to overthink it.
And if you don’t like it, I think you should simply walk away.
P.S.
Come to think of it, a long time ago, I got into a good relationship with a Ginza hostess over a single 700-yen piece of fresh caramel.
Those were the days.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer too.
I don’t think he necessarily feels bad just because he gave you a gift. Some women are happy even with something costing less than ¥16,000. (Some people would be pleased with something from LUSH, even if it costs less than ¥16,000.)
If the type of gift you receive is going to make you feel disappointed, I think you should say from the start that you don’t want gifts at all.
That way, you probably won’t feel disappointed.
A gift is a gesture of affection.
If you’re satisfied with the allowance you receive from him, I’m not sure it’s worth focusing so much on the gift.
The fact that he gave you something means he likes you. People don’t usually give gifts to just anyone.
I think it would be better to understand that.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I don’t think he feels sorry about it. More like, men don’t think that deeply about these things. He wanted to give it to you, so he gave it to you—end of story. I feel like that’s all there is to it.
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I’m Joe, a male member.
When it comes to gifts, it’s the thought that counts first and foremost.
That said, something like a necklace often looks rather cheap unless it costs a certain amount, so I don’t give necklaces as gifts. Besides, I believe jewelry should only be given to one’s wife (with a few exceptions, haha).
Another issue, besides the price, is that what a man wants to give and what a woman actually wants don’t always match. When it comes to not understanding women’s feelings, I’m second to none, and I’ve been teased—more than once?—for giving women what I wanted to give without thinking about what they wanted. Ever since then, I’ve asked what they want and gone shopping with them. I’ve mentioned this before, but once I was told it was a hair dryer, and I was shocked when it turned out to be a six-figure purchase. I was so annoyed that I bought one for myself too. My wife uses it all the time now.
Here’s one episode I’d like the female members to think about.
For my dating-club first meetings, I often bring a small makeup brush. It’s a local specialty, it’s not bulky, and it doesn’t look cheap for the price. A few women have even told me, “There isn’t a woman alive who wouldn’t be happy to receive this.” Naturally, that made me happy, but I tried not to take it too seriously.
Then, when I traveled with a certain lady, I discovered that she used that makeup brush all the time. And then, would you believe it?! After that, I ended up giving her a seven-figure gift.
I suppose this is what they mean by catching a tai fish with a shrimp?!
Ladies, you’re welcome to sell the gifts on Mercari, but as Mr. Mac says, that’s a poor way to cultivate a supporter—and proudly going on and on about it, even in a place like this, is rather vulgar. Did you know that?
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