How should I respond when men brag about their wealth? At these clubs, there seem to be a lot of moderately wealthy men earning tens of millions of yen a year, but honestly, the overwhelming majority of them aren’t as well-off as the family I grew up in. So even when they brag, I can’t help thinking, “Is that all?” For now, I just react with something like, “Wow, that’s amazing!” But if I accidentally share stories from my own life—like traveling abroad from a young age or talking about the countries I visited while studying overseas—they ask, “Why would someone from such a privileged family be doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?” and I don’t know how to respond. Maybe truly wealthy people wouldn’t care about that, but perhaps these moderately wealthy men think that way because they can realistically imagine what kind of family can afford those overseas trips.
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The reason I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that I have more than enough savings from my family to live on, but I simply think it would be foolish to dip into those savings to cover my living expenses. (After some family issues, I’m a university student living alone without financial support from home.) My family runs a company with several hundred employees, but when I mention that to men from the club, they immediately stop bragging about themselves. If they’re going to brag, I should probably just make them feel good about it, right? Should I avoid saying anything that reveals my family’s financial situation?
I’m Saito♪, a columnist.
>As for why I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s because I have more savings from my family than I could ever spend, but it would be foolish to simply dip into those savings to cover my living expenses.
That means she doesn’t actually have as much as she claims—certainly not enough to be “more than she could ever spend.”
I can’t help wondering whether she doesn’t feel that the time she spends on papa-katsu is being wasted...
>My family runs a company with several hundred employees.
Inheritance tax is going to be a nightmare.
I’m just worried about her.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It’s honestly baffling. Why not let men feel superior and enjoy talking about themselves when doing so will actually increase your allowance?
Something along the lines of, “Even though I’m a wealthy young lady, I’m doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—that must mean my relationship with you isn’t about money, but about a genuine emotional connection♡”
If you take that approach, your allowance will definitely increase. Understand what papas (male supporters) want and play the part properly. Then even a papa earning tens of millions of yen a year could give you several hundred thousand yen a month. It’s a shame, because these papas have so much potential.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
> I have more than enough savings from my family home to live on, but it would be foolish to simply dip into them.
That’s a very ordinary-person way of thinking.
You mean you only have enough that it would eventually run out if you spent it, right? In that case, you should take good care of it. If you don’t guard it carefully, it’ll disappear before you know it.
I don’t often hear men bragging about being rich, but does that mean some men do show off to women?
Men seem more inclined to hide their wealth, yet they casually wear watches worth tens of millions of yen, so I’d think most people would simply be impressed and think, “Wow.”
Still, if a man bragged about being rich, wouldn’t it be perfectly normal to say, “Then buy me this next time ♥”? If he’s going to brag about it, I feel like he’d probably buy it for you anyway.
Is it really such a problem?
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Even if your family is wealthy, how much do you yourself earn?
It’s quite something for a college student who only does papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to call a man earning tens of millions of yen a year “just moderately wealthy.”
None of my business, but if you made the person asking this question your successor someday, I’d feel sorry for the employees—the company might well go under.
By the way, I also don’t understand why you feel it’s necessary to tell a man about your family’s financial situation in the first place.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
I thought this was your first “subtle flexing contest” in a while, but since you weren’t really one-upping anyone, I guess it was a little different.
So, the questioner’s papas are trying to assert their superiority with small amounts of money, and you couldn’t help wanting to bring up your family home to flex back, right? If that’s the real appeal of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), then I suppose you should keep at it.
More than that, though, it’s unfortunate that you don’t seem to be in a very good mental state—whether you’re having conflicts with your family or don’t want to dip into your savings.
It might be better to face those fundamental issues and work on them one by one, or look for a papa (a male supporter) who can listen, advise you, and support you through them.
I hope you can get to a point where you no longer need to ask questions like this.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
I understand that your family is impressive, but that just means your family is impressive—the same doesn’t apply to you. You seem to be seriously misunderstanding something.
Why don’t you start a company, succeed without relying on your parents, and then try to one-up men?
You’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), yet you’re trying to look down on men? I can’t help but wonder, “What are you even doing?”
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If I were you, I’d be embarrassed instead.
Everything you’re bragging about was simply given to you with money earned by the parents you’re currently estranged from.
It’s not something you accomplished or worked hard for yourself.
And yet you consider yourself equal to—or, unbelievably, even look down on—a papa (a male supporter) who contributes to society and participates in the economy to some extent.
That’s embarrassing and presumptuous.
Perhaps you should honestly face the fact that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is the only way you can support yourself without financial assistance from your parents.
You should only talk so arrogantly after returning all your excessive savings and building up assets through your own efforts.
It’s shameful.
Akari
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Meet a man for three or four hours, do various things together, and receive your allowance. That’s all papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is—nothing more, nothing less. Keep the job simple. Don’t tell your clients things they don’t need to know. There’s no need to make yourself seem more important than you are. Just present the version of yourself that will make him happy.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’m not sure what the man said that made you think he was bragging about being wealthy, but why do you bring up your family’s financial situation? That company with several hundred employees wasn’t founded by you, nor did you manage and grow it, right?
There’s nothing wrong with talking about your family’s financial situation if you want to. However, I think what the man is feeling is that you’re simply not interesting to talk to.
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I’m a male member, and a total loser.
It really depends on how much support you want to receive from this relatively wealthy papa.
If you want to turn him into a generous (well-paying) papa, you could put the “sa-shi-su-se-so” technique mentioned in another answer into practice and make him feel good by saying things like, “As expected of you!” On the other hand, if you want to cut ties, you could one-up him by bragging about your family home and leave him speechless.
I’m a weirdo who enjoys letting the other person feel superior, so if a woman started bragging about her family background, I’d shower her with praise—“That’s amazing!”—make her feel good, and get her talking more and more until, before she knew it, she’d be opening up to me.
And whenever I came across a woman who bragged like that, I’d make her allowance extremely low.
What I’m saying is, you should just let them have their moment of superiority. If you can make a man feel good, you win. But if you find yourself thinking, “What a poor person,” and end up bragging about your own family background to one-up him, you may win the conversation, but you’ll lose the allowance game.
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I’m Hikoki, a male member.
Have you been through something difficult in life?
It’s not that your family’s current home is what’s so remarkable. What’s remarkable is that they built it up from nothing. For them, especially in the early days when they were starting from zero, it must have been a time full of hardships—but also the most memorable period of their lives.
Saying, “It’s nothing special,” suggests that you may not be in the best place mentally right now.
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