I’m a female member. I’ve been seeing my papa (a male supporter) for a long time, but lately I increasingly feel like he’s treating me carelessly.
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We used to meet at least three times a month, but recently he only sees me once a month. Even when we’re together, he’s started spending most of the time looking at his phone, so I can’t enjoy our conversations anymore.
He used to surprise me with gifts like snacks and accessories I’d mentioned liking, even on ordinary days. We also used to travel together quite often, but none of that happens anymore.
We’ve been together for two and a half years, and he’s a papa I have so many memories with, so I can’t bring myself to decide to end things. But it’s exhausting to keep seeing him while feeling that he’s probably grown tired of me.
Would it be better to end things?
I’m Aya, a female member.
If he’s seeing you less often, it clearly means his feelings have faded. Unless something dramatic happens, your papa’s affection probably won’t come back. It’s unfortunate, but I think you should either give up or at least take a step back. If he starts fading out after that, then it simply wasn’t meant to be—move on to the next one.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
If your partner has been giving you less attention and affection than before, I think that also means you’re no longer giving them something in return. It’s hard to believe that only your partner has simply become careless.
Considering that you haven’t noticed these things either, I think your best option is to make a clean break.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
As a relationship goes on, it becomes normal for the other person to be there, and since you’re comfortable enough not to feel the need to be especially considerate, I think you naturally start looking at your phone.
So I think you need to offer something more enjoyable and stimulating than your phone. Let’s think of ways to keep her from looking at it…
For example, as Seattle suggested, you could change the setting, talk about what’s been going on lately, or have her listen while you complain about your boss.
Anything is fine, but when you meet, I think it’s good to have something you can discuss or do together. If you get really into a particular topic, you could expand the conversation from there. Maybe talk about things papa enjoys, too.
Since papa is still meeting with you, it seems he doesn’t dislike you. Rather than thinking about ending things, I think it may be better to focus on winning his attention back.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Maybe things have become stale.
If he’s bored, I think the papa (male supporter) would be the one to bring up breaking things off.
That probably happens because there’s nothing new anymore. If you don’t like the situation, I think it might help to introduce something unexpected. Of course, bringing up a breakup would certainly be something unexpected too.
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