I really hate being told, “You seem totally fine!” when I skip a date because I’m not up to meeting and then see them again.
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I tend to get depressed easily, so I force myself to act cheerful when I’m around people.
Even though I’m trying hard to seem upbeat, when they ask in this tone—“You seemed fine, so why did you turn down the date the other day?”—I just want to go home.
How do you stay motivated after someone says something thoughtless?
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, too.
I think it would be a good idea to clearly explain the part where you say:
“I tend to get depressed easily, so I force myself to act cheerful when I’m meeting people.”
Also,
> When they ask in a tone like, “You seemed fine, so why did you turn down that date the other day?” I just want to go home so badly.
People say things like, “You look totally fine!”
That’s something they might even say to someone who’s been told they only have a month left to live because of cancer.
Whether you’re actually feeling well or not isn’t always relevant. Sometimes people say it simply to encourage you—to mean something like, “You look like you’re doing okay.”
So instead of taking it negatively, you could try thinking, “Maybe they’re trying to encourage me?”
The key is to interpret the other person’s words in the best possible way. It doesn’t really matter what they actually meant.
Try to take everything people say positively. I think that’s the best approach.
For example, when someone asks:
“What do you want to eat?”
Instead of thinking, “They don’t care about me, so they didn’t even bother choosing somewhere to eat,” try thinking:
“They’re such a nice person for trying to accommodate what I want to eat.”
No one other than the person themselves knows what they’re really thinking. I think it’s best to interpret everything in whatever way works for you.
Even if your interpretation is wrong, it’s not a big deal. They’re not going to kill you over it.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
If you really don’t want to continue
and you’re okay with ending things,
don’t act upbeat when you meet.
Try saying something that brings the mood down.
It may help you feel a little lighter.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I feel like there’s no point saying anything to someone that inconsiderate. Saying something like, “Well, I’m only putting on a brave face while I’m with you,” would probably come across as rude.
But if you really need to get your point across, it might be better to write it down. If you find yourself forcing yourself to act okay when you’re together, I think it’s best to tell him over LINE in a serious tone.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
If you’re prone to feeling down, why not meet your papa while you’re still in that mood? His reaction may then feel more in sync with how you’re feeling.
If he asks, “You seem fine, don’t you?” and you can’t just brush it off with, “Yeah, I’m fine!” then the issue may lie within you. The fact that you can tell the other person you feel insecure might point to a deeper problem.
If everything irritates you or brings you down, I think you should take a little break.
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I’m Date◎Yume, one of the male members.
Hmm, that’s a bit of a difficult question（笑）
I suspect he probably asked casually as part of the conversation, rather than with any bad intentions. He may even have been feeling a little jealous, wondering if you’d been busy with another papa（笑）
Why not brush it off lightly by saying something like, “I wasn’t feeling very well…”?
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think they meant to be insensitive; they probably just can’t imagine what it feels like not to be in the mood to meet, because they’ve never felt that way themselves.
They’re only asking without any ill intent because they can’t imagine it.
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