My papa asked me if I’m seeing him just for the money.
This content is machine-translated.
I told him, “That’s not the case. Even if it were for the money, I wouldn’t keep seeing someone I had to force myself to be with,” but different papas ask me things like this from time to time. Could you suggest a polished, safe way to respond?
I’m Aya, a female member.
If it were me, I’d probably tailor my response to the papa’s personality.
If a papa from Kansai asked, “Are you only after my money?” I might say, “Nope—I’m after your body instead,” while with a genuinely lovestruck papa, I’d say something like, “Of course not. I meet you because I love everything about you, ○○. That’s so mean. Why would you say something like that…?”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I’ve never thought that way myself, and I’ve never said it because I understand that no one would date me without money being involved. But when you think about it, depending on the situation, it can be difficult, can’t it?
If you emphasize too much that “it’s not just about the money,” some people might take that to mean, “Then I don’t need to give you an allowance, right?”
“You matter to me, too. But I also need the money.”
It would be great if you could express that skillfully.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
As a papa, I also worry that money might be the only thing I have to offer.
If she replied, “I wouldn’t meet you if I had to force myself, even for the money,” I think I’d feel reassured that I have some good qualities too.
And when you say things like that repeatedly, you really do start to find one or two things you genuinely like about each other.
I think that’s just how men and women are.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Joe, a male member.
You can expect to be asked the same question again and again. I think your current answer is just fine, Joe. Please keep at it patiently. If you get bored, adding some variety wouldn’t hurt either. Saying through tears, “It makes me so sad to hear you say that,” would probably be extremely effective—if you only use it once. Princess Nana, a seasoned older-man charmer, said so, so it must be true. Whatever you do, don’t make a funny face and say, “That’s so frustrating!”
The daddies ask these sorts of questions because they want to hear you deny it. It may be a hassle, but please indulge them in this little three-line drama.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
I think women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can broadly be divided into those who do it for the money and those who have other reasons.
I feel like about 90% do it for the money.
That said, even if money was the original motivation, I don’t think they’re willing to see just anyone—which is why they chose a dating club. Being able to choose who they meet, and not just the financial aspect, is also important to them.
If they were willing to see anyone, they’d probably make money more efficiently by working in the adult entertainment industry.
With that in mind, a man asking, “Are you seeing me just for the money?” is about as foolish a question as a woman asking, “Are you seeing me just because you’re sexually attracted to me?”
Still, as long as there are men who ask such foolish questions, some kind of response is necessary. Unfortunately, that’s just the way it is.
As for how to answer, I think what you’re saying now works:
“Of course not. Even if money is part of it, I wouldn’t meet someone I had to force myself to see.”
There’s a contradiction in denying that it’s about the money while acknowledging it in the second half. But I think the meaning comes across: money may be part of the reason, but even so, I won’t see anyone I don’t actually like.
You could also say something like:
“It’s obviously because I like how kind you are, isn’t it?”
Something along those lines should work too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a male member who always ends up on the losing side.
Try saying, with a slightly sad tone:
“Just as you’re not seeing me solely to have sex with me, I’m not seeing you solely to get money from you.”
The first half is especially important.
That should leave your papa (a male supporter) speechless.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Osaka here, a male member.
I think that’s the right response. I guess all you can do is keep giving the same answer.
I get the feeling this Q&A box has become a place to vent, lol. There are so many posts constantly talking about doing this for the money, having to put up with things, and hating on old men that maybe, as a result, papas have started becoming more suspicious too, lol.
Who is that actually helping? I’ve been wondering about that. I mean, you can’t really assume women are always on other women’s side, lol.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think the safest response would be something along the lines of what the questioner suggested.
That said, personally, I don’t think it’s necessary to include the denial, “That’s not true.” While denying that you’re meeting him for the money, the latter half ends up affirming that money is, in fact, the reason.
A simple response like, “I would like to receive an allowance, but I only intend to continue seeing someone I feel comfortable being with,” sounds natural and safe to me.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
