There’s a woman I’ve been seeing regularly for a year.
She’s always been bright and fun, just like when we first met.
But when I think about it, she’s never once talked to me about her worries or anything difficult, so I’ve started wondering if she still hasn’t opened up to me yet.
I’d like us to become closer, so I’d be happy if she felt she could rely on me emotionally as well…
To the women answering: Do you talk to the men you’re seeing about your worries or show them your vulnerable side?
And to the men answering: Do women rely on you emotionally?
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Hmm… I don’t really want someone relying on me too much. If she says she needs money because she’s struggling, or starts becoming dependent on me, that’s difficult for me. My stance is basically: please find another generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter).
She doesn’t rely on me financially, but there’s a girl who often says how exhausting work is. She’s not particularly fun to be around, and she often says she can’t go on a date because she’s feeling unwell or worn out.
When we meet, I prefer to keep things cheerful and enjoyable, so I like girls who don’t bring their problems up.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Dai, a male member.
I think it also depends on how often you see each other.
In an arrangement like mine, where we meet about once a month, some women come to me for advice, while others don’t.
Just because the man wants her to rely on him emotionally doesn’t mean she will, so it’s best to let things develop naturally.
If you want her to become more emotionally dependent on you, meeting more often may help. But another important point may be whether you’re the kind of man she actually wants to see that often.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
The next column includes content along those lines, but I’m generally the type to eat whatever food is served skillfully, out of respect for the chef. So even if someone talks to me about their problems or shares something heavy, whether it’s true or not doesn’t really matter to me. At worst, I’m fine as long as I can give the woman the reassurance that she can believe the lies I tell.
I can’t tell whether what they’re saying is true or not, and I assume that heavy stories usually come with some ulterior motive.
But after listening in that spirit, I later found out it had all been true—and by then, I’d already fallen for her, a lap behind everyone else. That’s what the next column is about.
As for women relying on me emotionally, it’s not as if they keep doing so indefinitely. Sometimes they only rely on me for that one moment, simply because it happens to suit them.
It doesn’t mean they relied on me because I was me. It only means I happened to be the person standing in front of them at that moment.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I do tend to talk to my papa (a male supporter) quite a bit about my work-related worries… I also tell him about my family. But being with my papa has made almost all my worries disappear, so lately I haven’t needed to consult him as much. I do still share my core beliefs and thoughts with him, though.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Osaka, a male member.
I think you’re fine just as you are. Of course, if the conversation naturally turns in that direction, I think it’s good to be there for her. But some women rely on you simply because they enjoy spending time with you, and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing either.
I feel that many women are emotionally strong, so I don’t think being reliable is limited to listening to their complaints or concerns. Everyone has a different personality, after all.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I get used pretty effectively, both emotionally and physically (lol).
I think it varies from woman to woman, but they may be thinking, “What’s the point of talking to him?”
First of all, you need to show them who you are and make them feel, “It’s okay to talk to him.” If your thoughts—like “This is how I feel about this”—are relatable to some extent, they’ll feel more comfortable opening up.
After all, even if you’re their papa (a male supporter), you’re still essentially a stranger, so they may not open up easily.
Good luck!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Yes, I complain, talk to him about my problems, and when things get really tough, I’ll sometimes turn to him in tears… though I guess I haven’t done that lately.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
Yes, I listen to their complaints, hear them out when they’re worried, and sometimes they even break down crying when things get tough.
But it isn’t necessarily a good thing. There have been plenty of times when I was worked up, but had to spend so long listening to their complaints that I thought, “I’ll listen as much as you want once I’ve relieved myself, but for now, I just want to have sex.”
And sometimes, while talking about what they’ve been through, they start crying uncontrollably. The mood is no longer right for sex, and the day ends with me simply listening and comforting them.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
