What would a papa think if a woman who’s always kind and never says anything harsh suddenly started hurling verbal abuse at him? Would he drop her??
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I’m filled with frustration inside, but I have no choice but to rely on him, so I keep smiling, acting sweet, and putting up with it. But sometimes I get so angry that I feel like pulling one of my few papas’ hair hard enough to yank it out, screaming abuse at him, and slapping him across the face.
I’d have to be prepared to be dropped if I did that, right? I’m okay with being dropped, but in my case I’d lose not only my allowance but also my place to live.
How do you all hold it in when you get irritated? When I’m treated badly, I can barely stop myself from hitting him or saying, “Go die already.”
Can men tell when a woman is putting up with things? Or are they really that clueless?
Do they think that paying money means they can do whatever they want? If they gave me three figures per pay-per-meeting arrangement instead of monthly, I could forgive it, though.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I’ve lost my temper before too. But that was because I figured my papa would be able to handle my anger… and in the end, my allowance went up significantly and my treatment improved. It was kind of like collective bargaining.
At any rate, if you gauge how far you can push things based on your papa’s capacity, I think you can control the situation to some extent and get things to go your way.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
That way of thinking is far too extreme. You can tell the other person what’s bothering you without resorting to verbal abuse.
And I think that’s what most people do. I’ve hardly ever seen anyone out in society who goes around verbally abusing others.
I recommend patiently explaining to them, again and again, exactly what you’re dissatisfied with and why.
I don’t think losing your temper or hurling insults will do any good. Then again, maybe it would make you feel better? I’m not really sure.
Though I doubt insulting them would actually make you feel better.
If you’re thinking about doing something like getting revenge, I think it would be better to do the complete opposite: be kind to them, be even kinder, and see how much money you can get them to give you—push it as far as you can.
If you manage to get a lot of money out of them, perhaps you’ll feel at least somewhat better.
You could also make them like you more and more, until they reach a point where they’d be devastated if you left them.
In any case, if you want to do something, you need to go in the exact opposite direction.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
Even if the allowance isn’t quite enough, as long as I’m paying the agreed amount, I think it’s only fair that you treat me with basic common courtesy, regardless of how you really feel inside.
If it happens once, I can chalk it up to you being in a bad mood. But if the verbal abuse continues two or three times, I’ll assume the stress has reached its limit and you no longer want to continue seeing me—and I’ll end things immediately.
In society at large, too, people who keep hurling excessive abuse eventually get ostracized.
It’s the same as at work: if your dissatisfaction continues, you weigh it against your salary and start considering changing jobs. Employers also make various efforts to keep people from quitting.
If you really can’t put up with it, it’s probably safer to end things before you snap.
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If anything, I’m putting up with it for the money.
So it’s ridiculous to think that means they can do whatever they want.
Can’t you at least say something like, “I’m not really comfortable with that…”?
And if you can’t even say no because you need the money, then commit to playing the part all the way.
Whether you meet someone in everyday life or through a club, I think the foundation is communication.
Akari
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If she verbally abuses me, I’ll cut ties. More accurately, I’ll end the relationship. If someone is that stressful to be around, neither of us would want to continue seeing each other, right? We’d both be happier with people who cause each other less stress.
Basically, I believe women put up with a certain amount, to some extent. Even if I’m giving an allowance, there are limits, so I don’t think that means they can do whatever they want.
I always ask them to tell me if something bothers them, and there have been several times when they’ve told me that something I said had rubbed them the wrong way.
If she’s someone who makes you want to hurl abuse or become violent, I think she should move and find another papa (a male supporter).
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I’m in Seattle.
If you’re getting three figures a month, hang in there a little longer and save as much as you can.
Once you’ve saved enough and properly arranged your move, then disappear.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
Is this a leading question—“If you hate it that much, why don’t you just break up”?
Think about it realistically. If someone suddenly hurls verbal abuse at you and pulls your hair, I doubt many people would just sit there and take it.
And considering they could even be assaulted—punched or kicked—it’s quite a show of confidence. If you mistakenly think you’re being cherished and do whatever you want, you might end up in for a very nasty surprise…
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