I want to get used to transactional relationships, but I just can’t seem to.
I can’t bring myself to like a man who is dating other women.
The moment I find out, my feelings cool, and I end up going beyond disliking him to seeing him as someone I no longer care about. Then it’s over.
It would be nice if there were someone who would devote himself solely to me…
I feel like I could accept it if I dated lots of other papas (male supporters), but I’m not used to seeing multiple people myself.
I’m thinking of re-registering with a dating club to get used to it, but I also plan to look for papas elsewhere. Other than dating clubs, would lounges be the place where I’m most likely to meet a papa?
How did you get used to it?
I’m Aya, a female member.
I like devoted papas too, and I made sure to tell men that from the start. Naturally, the transactional papas eventually dropped away.
All of my current papas are devoted, so I get really angry if they cheat. When you trust someone and they betray you, it feels like he’s looking down on you, and I hate that. It makes it hard to trust men again. I think you should clearly assert that this is the kind of person you are.
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Quite a few men write in their profiles that they’re looking for just one woman.
If you mention that in your profile too, you might receive offers from men like that.
Marika
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I’m a male member and a bit of a loser.
A transactional relationship feels lonely, but serious romance is just too much work.
I started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) hoping for something genuine, but I ended up being the one to break things off with every girl who wanted a serious relationship. I’ve realized that maybe I never wanted that in the first place, and now I’m feeling lost.
Something more than a transactional relationship, but less than serious romance,
is probably the ideal balance.
With the girl I have a monthly arrangement with, I feel like we’ve found that balance. Though maybe that’s just how I see it.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think it would be best to look for a man who isn’t interested in seeing multiple women. Why not discuss it with the branch where you registered?
Most male members of dating clubs probably date multiple women, but there are also men like me who, for various reasons, prefer to see just one woman.
That said, when you’re seeing only one person, it can be difficult to know when the relationship will end once it begins, so I don’t think there are that many opportunities to meet someone new.
Also, to get used to it, I think it helps to view it as a business arrangement.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think you have to accept that this is simply how relationships involving an allowance work. Expecting someone to be devoted to you after giving or receiving an allowance is asking for too much.
I don’t think it’s a matter of getting used to it.
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