I’m getting tired of dealing with a papa who’s seriously fallen for me. I’m thinking of openly talking about other papas, our LINE conversations, or dates with them—but would that backfire?
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I don’t want him to cut me off, but I do want him to give up on having a serious relationship with me…
Please give me some advice.
I’m Aya, a female member.
If it were me, I wouldn’t tell a genuinely smitten papa about having a boyfriend… He’d probably lose interest rather than simply cut things off.
Things worked out well when I took on the image and persona of someone who was “so busy with work that it’s hard to find time to meet.” With that persona, my papas started supporting my career and going out of their way for me.
That said, you really do need to work hard at your day job, and if everything is built on lies, the truth will eventually come out. So put in the effort and try to turn the relationship into one where he supports you.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I feel like talking about other men to someone who tends to develop genuine romantic feelings can be risky.
You can’t change someone’s preferences, and I don’t think you can have it both ways.
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I’m a male member who’s not exactly winning at this.
Why not try talking about your boyfriend?
I have one woman I’m seeing who has made it clear that her boyfriend comes first, but I don’t feel bad about it at all.
I can tell she’s trying to keep some distance, so I have no desire to push things any further.
That said, she’s still fourth in the pecking order, so I’m always thinking, “I wonder when I should cut things off.”
In other words, it’s a game.
If you keep your distance, the risk of being cut increases. If you get closer, that risk decreases—but the risk of developing serious feelings goes up.
I think what you want is:
“I want to keep my distance, but I don’t want to be cut off.”
To achieve that, though, I think you’d have to become:
“A woman who has a boyfriend (or other papas), but is unbelievably good in bed.”
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