Tips
Oct 13, 2021 15:29
8 answers
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Dai, a male member.
This sounds like papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) among women on Twitter.
Before long, you’ll probably start hearing things like, “Five thousand yen if I hold your hand.”
I think you should give some serious thought to what a freely chosen relationship really means.
Other
You think just saying it makes going bare okay?
Cool your head and come back when you’ve calmed down.
Akari
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
> I’m worried that she might be put off if I ask too many detailed questions when we first meet.
She probably will. (lol)
That said, if there are specific things that matter to you, I think it’s better to ask about those in advance.
If you don’t have any particular preferences, just be clear about the allowance. And unless you’ve discussed otherwise, using a condom is the default.
People who don’t like condoms may simply associate them with the thick ones provided at love hotels, so it might be a good idea to have 0.02 mm or 0.01 mm condoms on hand first. (They aren’t technically made of rubber, though.)
Then, after things are over at the hotel that day, it may be better to ask something like, “Would it be okay if we did things this way next time?”
However, if there’s something she’s uncomfortable with, she may agree in the moment but not be willing to meet again. So, in general, I think it’s better to prioritize her feelings over what you want to do.
If you’re wondering why she suddenly stopped responding, it’s usually because the allowance was too low or she didn’t like what you wanted to do.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
Is it more awkward to discuss things beforehand, or afterward?
I think people of both genders are divided on this, so aside from the “no-condom” issue, it probably comes down to which approach they prefer.
Going into too much detail also seems like it could make a less-than-favorable impression.
Other
I’m Osaka, a male member.
When the questioner brings up these kinds of confirmations on the first date is pretty important.
If it’s while you’re having dinner, you should be more concerned about what’s happening right then than about what comes later. The only thing that’s really okay to discuss is money.
Rather than trying to go through the full course of your preferences from the very first meeting, I think it’s better to feel out how much distance to keep from the other person and keep everything vanilla.
The way this question is phrased feels very off to me, so...
Other
I’m Nana Ayase ♡
Do you really think a young woman would accept all that?
Personally, I’d be put off—completely turned off.
And no going bare. What are you even thinking?
If you can afford to pay one woman around ¥500,000 a month, go ahead and try.
And if you expect that much from her, I think it’ll be pretty difficult unless you’re offering at least ¥50,000 per meeting.
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
As you’re concerned about, if you try to negotiate everything in detail during the meal at your first meeting, she’ll probably be put off（笑）
At the end of the meal, I think it’s best to clearly discuss the allowance for going to a room afterward and make sure you both agree on it.
Once you’ve finished being intimate in the room, you can tell her what you’d like going forward.
However, some people simply aren’t comfortable with intimacy, so if you make a lot of demands from the start, there’s a chance there won’t be a next time and she’ll cut things off. In my case, if I like someone, I try different things gradually while gauging her reaction, expanding the range of what we do without making her uncomfortable.
To start with, why not use protection? If you’re going without it, you both need to make sure the situation is safe, or it could lead to consequences you can’t undo…
Personally, I do find it feels good without protection, but I can’t take the risk, so I choose to use it. You can’t completely control the other person, after all.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think you should be upfront and discuss the allowance clearly.
As for unprotected sex, I personally don’t want to do that with someone I’m meeting for the first time, and I can’t imagine anyone complaining about using a condom, so I don’t ask about it. If you want to have unprotected sex even on a first meeting, I think you should ask before going to the room.
As for other things, I imagine it would be unpleasant to be asked about them by someone you’ve never slept with, so before we get started in bed, I simply ask, “Is there anything you don’t like?”
The only things I’ve been told here are, “Please use a condom,” and “I’m not comfortable with being on top.” Even if what they tell me doesn’t match my preferences, I’ve already given them the allowance by then, and I ask with the intention of accepting it as it is. If our preferences don’t align, I figure I can just stop seeing her after that.
I ask how often she’d like to meet right before we part ways. Neither of us can really know the answer until afterward.
As an aside, I only go down on someone if I feel like it in the moment—I don’t want to if there’s an unpleasant smell or we don’t click.
Also, in the case of “I’m not comfortable with being on top,” she genuinely didn’t know how to move her hips very well, so we practiced together（笑）.