There’s a man I met here almost four years ago. I trust him, feel at ease when I’m with him, and I’m truly grateful for the emotional support he’s given me when work has been difficult. I love him deeply because he has continued to cherish me ever since we met when I was a student, even now that I’m working. He means so much to me that I can’t imagine my life without him.
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Unless something changes, such as our lifestyles, it doesn’t seem likely that we’ll break things off anytime soon. But since this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I sometimes wonder whether I should eventually bring it to an end, or whether it’s okay to continue seeing him for many more years.
Sorry for the long question, but for those of you who have been seeing someone long-term, have you decided how long you plan to continue or set a point at which you’ll end things?
I’m Fuu, a relationship columnist.
The woman who often appears in my columns has completed four years and is now entering her fifth year.
We met when she was still a student, and she’s now married with children.
In my case, we’re not as deeply involved with each other as you and your partner seem to be, but we’ve continued seeing each other while taking good care of one another.
She’s a wonderful person, so I expect things will continue until she’s the one who asks to end it.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’ve been seeing a woman for three years now, while wondering when we should bring the relationship to an end. In my case, we’ve agreed that I’ll step away once she gets a boyfriend, but she hasn’t really made—or found—one yet… lol.
She says she’ll start looking for a marriage partner after quitting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
From my perspective, she’s already a working adult and is at a stage where she can quit whenever she wants. Also, even if she starts looking for a partner, she may not find one right away. So we’ve talked about ending things when she reaches her mid-twenties.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
If someone can’t date multiple men, I imagine they’ll end things when they find a spouse, a boyfriend, or an offer with better terms.
Even if they can date multiple men, they may still end an arrangement when they no longer have enough time, or when it no longer feels worthwhile financially or in terms of how fulfilling their time together is.
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I’m Aya, one of the female members.
I’m struggling with this too, lol. I feel like we could stay together for a few more years—or even longer if I don’t have children.
But knowing that we’ll probably part ways someday makes me sad, so I cherish every moment I spend with my papa (a male supporter) and try to make the most of the present. It doesn’t have the relaxed feeling of being with a future spouse, but I’m always filled with this intense, almost painful affection.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Of course, my lifestyle and outlook may change, and while I haven’t set a specific timeline, I think the time will inevitably come when I end my adult relationships.
What happens after that will depend on the other person.
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I’m in Seattle.
I have one person I’ve been friends with for eight years, another arrangement that’s lasted seven years, and another that’s been going for three years. If possible, I’d like to stay friends with them for the rest of my life.
Even if we meet less often and the allowance decreases accordingly, once things have lasted this long, there’s really no clear ending point.
Unless you’re planning to marry that papa (male supporter), you should keep looking for a boyfriend too.
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