Papas, what’s the most people you’ve been seeing at the same time?
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A papa who recently started seeing me told me that I was all he needed, but I found out he’s looking for a new girl. I’m really hurt… It made me wonder what’s typical.
I’m Basil, a male member.
I’m currently seeing seven women on an ongoing basis, while still making new offers about twice a month on average. I’m more than satisfied—in fact, I’m actually trying to reduce the number of existing relationships.
Even so, when one of them occasionally asks whether I’m seeing anyone else, I still can’t shake the habit of giving a vague, harmless answer like, “Kind of… though she hasn’t contacted me at all lately,” as if I were trying to avoid being disliked in a normal relationship.
What’s strange is that I almost never chase after someone if she’s the one who says she wants to end things. Even I find it curious.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
With anything, it comes down to whether you prioritize quantity or quality.
If the man you’re seeing is the type who values quantity—keeping things casual with lots of women at the same time—then you don’t need to worry about it.
But if he’s more focused on quality and prefers a deeper connection, he may feel that something is lacking with you. There’s also a risk that he may gradually grow distant.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
What time frame should we use to define “at the same time”? For now, I counted the number of women I had sex with within a month. At most, it was 11. Over one week, the maximum was four.
I’ve answered the question as asked, but I think the real issue isn’t the number of women—it’s that your papa started looking at other women.
If your papa simply has a preference for sleeping with lots of different people, there’s not much you can do. Otherwise, he may have changed his mind because he was dissatisfied with something about you. I think it would be more constructive to consider the cause and what you can do about it.
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