Do all men ultimately have the feeling that women are merely objects of pleasure—something to discard once they’ve grown tired of playing with them?
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I feel this is what lies at the heart of the psychology of the men who sign up here.
I’m not criticizing anyone.
I’d actually feel more at ease if you would just say it outright.
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Men end things when they get bored or meet someone else they like better.
Women end things when they get bored, their allowance is reduced, something unpleasant happens, or they meet a papa (a male supporter) with better terms (of the arrangement).
I feel like it goes both ways.
In the past, my monthly arrangements lasted three years, a year and a half, and six months. With the others, things usually ended because the woman called it quits. I’d like to stay with a good partner for a long time, though. It’s fulfilling, after all.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
I don’t think that’s necessarily true. If a woman is important to me, I’ll treat her that way and make sure she’s valued.
I think “never getting bored of sleeping with someone, no matter how many times” is a separate issue. Even if I lose interest in having sex with her, I may still want to value her everyday life and help her—not just see her in terms of sex.
That said, if she’s boring, after sleeping with her a few times, she starts to feel like just a “hole.” It’s like playing the conveniently available guy while taking the opportunity to satisfy my own desires. (Though in reality, I don’t think about it quite that coldly.)
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I think there are more people who aren’t like that.
They’re the kind of person who fulfills you emotionally and physically, making it hard to be apart.
At least, I think my papa (male supporter) feels that way about me—and I feel the same.
Marika
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I’m Basil, a male member.
Basically, you’re right. However, about 10–20% of the women I’ve met through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) had enough charm as people in their own right.
That’s what makes things complicated: I can’t simply dismiss them as objects of pleasure, and even after I’ve grown tired of fooling around, I can’t bring myself to let them go.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I get it. It’s easier to keep things transactional when the person you’re dealing with is the villain—the heel.
I wish I could commit to being that much of a heel too.
The tricky ones are the heels who play the good guy—the babyface. There are actually quite a lot of them. I’m one of them too.
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I’m Aya, one of the female members.
When I look at my papas, I feel like they divide women into “just women” and “human beings.”
“Just women” are girls at bars or sales companies who are mainly after money and whom they don’t really see as people. They view them as outlets for their sexual needs.
“Human beings,” on the other hand, are women who have some outstanding quality beyond that—women they find attractive as people, want to get to know better, stay involved with for the long term, and think of as “interesting women.”
Basically, they seem to assume women are the former, but when one of the latter occasionally appears, they get completely hooked, thinking, “Women really are impossible to figure out.”
Of course, this may only apply to my papas. There may also be men who view every woman purely as an outlet for their sexual needs.
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