I’m a woman in my early 30s and registered as Type C. I joined about three months ago and received offers from several men. I’ve met the most recent man three times, twice of which included an adult relationship, and I was hoping to see him again. He took me to wonderful restaurants, where we enjoyed delicious meals and pleasant conversation. I had such a great time with him, and I was happy I’d joined this club.

I’m Basil, a male member. The reason isn’t necessarily sexual compatibility. Even if the real reason is something more hurtful—like your age, or simply getting bored with you—he may have thought he was giving a tactful explanation in his own way. Since he was the one who ended things, I don’t think there’s much chance of getting back together unless something major changes, such as agreeing to go without protection. Though, I suppose not having unprotected sex also falls under sexual compatibility.

Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer as well. > He said it was because we weren’t sexually compatible. He sounds like a straightforward man. If someone is willing to tell you the reason honestly, I feel he might also be willing to explain more specifically what didn’t work. There are probably many things we fail to notice about ourselves. For example, you could say: “I don’t need an allowance, so would you be willing to teach me at a hotel exactly what I should improve and how?” It might be worth asking him to teach you various things for your future. Since he was honest enough to explain the reason, he might even be willing to go that far for you. I don’t think continuing to see this particular man is realistic, but what you learn could be useful if another good man comes along in the future. > Should I forget about him and wait for the next offer? Whether you do or not, I think he has probably already started looking for another woman. You should wait for a new offer as well. > Would it be okay to contact him and ask what kind of adult relationship he would have preferred, or tell him, “Please tell me what kind of adult relationship you want, and I’ll do my best”? If you’re hoping that trying harder might lead to a relationship with him, I think you should give up on that. However, it might be possible to meet him again six months or a year from now, after completely transforming your appearance and skills. So if you’re going to work hard, I think you should focus on how you can change over the next year. To do that, rather than asking what you can do to be in a relationship with him, you might want to ask him directly what areas you should improve.

I’m Dai, a male member. So she told you the reason for turning you down directly. Personally, I’d just accept it and think, “I see.” When it comes to sex, there are things I feel confident about and things I don’t… Asking her directly what she felt was incompatible might hurt you even more, but it could also be useful for future reference. For example, if she were the type of woman who was bad at foreplay and wanted me to penetrate her right away, I’d probably go along with it at the time, but afterward I might feel that we weren’t compatible. Either way, if you’re not a good match, you’re not a good match. You should move on to the next person.

I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.” Since you can’t know the real reason you were turned down, I don’t think it’s best to ask. There’s also a good chance that, even after checking your intimate compatibility twice, it simply wasn’t a match. Asking would probably only put the other person in an awkward position when trying to respond. Rather than that, it seems like there may be some things you could improve so you don’t get taken to an izakaya for the first meeting, or end up with dinner only (perhaps without being invited on afterward) despite being a Type C. To help you find good matches and build ongoing relationships in the future, you might want to make a few adjustments, including focusing on the impression you make at the first meeting.

I’m Osaka, a male member. A man’s reason for turning someone down may not be just sexual compatibility. Both men and women can have hidden feelings. You could accept that things with this person probably won’t continue and try to forget about it—or, since you have nothing to lose, ask him directly. I understand how hurt you feel. No matter how it was said, being rejected is painful. That said, it might be worth asking, even if you don’t expect much. Many women may not contact a man again out of pride, so he might not expect you to approach him after being turned down. Personally, I might find that kind of behavior cute, and it could even change my feelings or make me reply.

I’m Kazu, a male member. A dating club is a place to meet women you can enjoy both talking with and having sex with. So I don’t think things will last unless both aspects are good. I think it’s perfectly fine to ask your partner what she wants you to do. It’s rare for someone to ask that so directly, but trying to find out what the other person wants is something both men and women naturally do. This is just speculation, but I think that man was probably dissatisfied with your lack of initiative. Trying to find out what your partner wants is also a form of initiative, so I think you should try asking.

I’m Aya, a female member. I didn’t realize some people would say things like that… Unless there was something significant, such as body odor, I think compatibility at the hotel usually comes down to personal preference. So I’m not sure there’s much point in asking further. If a papa asked me the same thing, I couldn’t exactly say, “I just couldn’t handle you being overweight,” so I doubt you’d get a truly honest answer anyway. That said, it’s unusual for a man to be that direct, so you might consider asking him frankly for your own future reference. Assuming you’re prepared not to see him again, you could say something like, “I’m sorry to ask something so personal, but I was worried that perhaps there might have been an issue such as body odor…” I don’t think that would put him off too much.