but as punishment for not treating me with care, I plan to marry a doctor my age next year and disappear from his life.
He did support me financially, but even though he’s seeing other women, he made me be intimate without protection, pressured me into things I didn’t like, and there were months when he didn’t give me the agreed-upon allowance, among other things.
There was a question recently about suddenly disappearing and leaving him feeling devastated, but don’t you think it’s better to hurt him before breaking things off? Isn’t that kinder in a way??
I actually wonder whether leaving him with a good final impression by thanking him face-to-face would be cruel, so what do you think?
I’m still thinking about what punishment would be best.
Bad people deserve the punishment they have coming, don’t they?
It’s Joe.
Whenever you scheme to make someone eat humble pie, someone else will end up making you eat it instead.
I’m telling you, it’s true! The late Chiyo Uno and the still very much with us Yoko Aki have both said so, too—so there’s no doubt about it.
Even so, if you’re determined to put someone in their place, do be careful, won’t you?
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Questioner, I can understand how you feel because my situation is pretty similar. I also get annoyed that my papa (a male supporter) secretly meets other girls from time to time, so I’m thinking I’ll hurt him deeply someday and then leave him. It irritates me that he pretends nothing’s happening even though I know.
But I’ve also been thinking that if we maintain a good relationship, I can stay at the top of his list for a long time even after we break up… There are all kinds of things to consider. In the end, maybe it would be better to part smoothly and leave him feeling like I was his number-one mistress. I’m thinking I might raise his standards and then leave him. I don’t know how things will turn out yet, though.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well.
> As punishment for not treating me well, I plan to marry a doctor my age next year and disappear from my papa’s life.
Even if he had treated you well, wouldn’t you still marry a doctor your age next year and disappear from your papa’s life?
Or are you saying that if he had treated you well, you would continue seeing your papa even after getting married?
> Don’t you think it would be better to hurt him and then break up? Isn’t that kinder?
If it’s really kinder to hurt someone, then since this papa hurt you by forgetting to give you your allowance and making you do things you disliked, he must have been a very kind papa, right?
There seems to be a contradiction here.
> Wouldn’t it be pitiful if I left him with a good final impression? What do you think?
Leaving a good final impression ultimately benefits you as well.
There’s a chance that somewhere down the line, people might say you were a good person. That seems better than being called the worst woman in the world somewhere. Being remembered as the best woman seems preferable.
> Message him, “I hid this from you, but I’m HIV-positive. I’m sorry,” on LINE.
The papa can get tested and find out that he’s negative, so this wouldn’t be revenge at all.
He would probably send the message to Universe, which would cause quite a stir within the company.
It would likely require a meeting just to discuss what to do about contacting the men she had dated in the past.
Also, since the papa would have a screenshot of the woman’s own LINE message, even if she later said she had been lying, she wouldn’t be considered trustworthy.
So even if she wanted to join Universe in the future, she would be denied re-registration.
Since she herself claimed to have HIV, even if she later said it was a lie, no one would know what to believe. Refusing to let her register again would be the safest option.
In the end, it seems she would only be hurting herself.
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The pot calling the kettle black.
Sorry about that.
It’s six of one, half a dozen of the other.
There are quite a few doctors among the members, and you shouldn’t underestimate their connections.
Akari
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I’m in Seattle. I agree with fuu’s answer.
If that papa (a male supporter) has absolutely no way of finding out your real name, address, or workplace, then do as you please. But if you’re going to keep receiving support from him for a long time, staying completely anonymous sounds difficult.
He might spend money to hire a private investigator and have you followed. What would you do if he ruined your chance to marry the doctor?
It seems less risky to treat it as purely about the money, put on an act, and end things cleanly. If you cry and say, “I’m going to be happy,” maybe he’ll even give you a severance payment.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
When all is said and done, you did like that man, didn’t you?
The opposite of love isn’t hatred. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. The opposite of love is indifference.
Well, go ahead and be as mean as you like. One day, you’ll realize it was just a twisted expression of affection.
It’ll become a fond memory—something anyone with enough life experience has.
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This is Osaka, a male member.
Breaking someone’s heart and then ending things—that really is a kind of kindness, I suppose lol.
But there’s no point dwelling on punishment. You should also be mindful that it could come back to you.
We still don’t know whether the whole world will really turn out according to your plans, so don’t get complacent lol. You never know—someone might be working behind the questioner’s back without them realizing it. Good luck.
Not that I know anything, lol.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
If your partner is the vindictive type, what would you do if they tried to ruin your chance of marrying a doctor?
If you’re going all out to pursue your own happiness, shouldn’t everyone else’s feelings be irrelevant?
Wouldn’t it be better to part ways cleanly—with no hard feelings, resentment, or lingering problems?
Since you have the chance to be happy, I don’t think you need to deliberately take unnecessary risks.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Would merely making someone feel heartbroken really count as punishment?
I’d call things like leaving someone naked, tied up, and humiliated on the street; beating them black and blue to cause physical pain; or taking a huge amount of money from them at the end to cause financial pain punishment.
Ah, true.
When you think about it, “leaving without warning” is actually pretty kind.
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You seem like quite a bad woman yourself, so I’d hate for you to be punished too.
Just thinking aloud, but there do seem to be a lot of doctors among the male members of dating clubs, don’t there?
Congratulations on your marriage.
Marika
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