I used to do idol-like work, and there’s something I find puzzling.

I’m BB7. Maybe he likes tsundere types—or maybe he’s a hardcore masochist who wants to win over an unattainable woman and show off his own abilities. Personally, I find women who deliberately refuse to say thank you and act cold make me think, “What’s with her?” So unfortunately, that type doesn’t appeal to me.

I’m Dai, a male member. As long as I’m pursuing someone, I’m completely absorbed in her. But once she starts coming closer, I tend to lose interest.

I’m Fuu, a columnist. Do you really think that theory is true? Was she popular because she acted aloof? I feel like she was simply popular because she was beautiful and cute... I think it’s better to show your appreciation. If another girl came along who was really grateful and treated her papa (male supporter) well, he might want to go with her instead. That’s what I’d do if I were Fuu.

I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist. There certainly is a method to getting someone to shower you with gifts, but it’s better to think of it as “method” < “branding.” When it comes to give-and-take, people generally fall into three categories: Givers, Takers, and Matchers. Most people are Matchers—in other words, their basic approach is to return a Take when they’ve been Given something. People with a Taker mindset, like the person asking this question, are actually the most likely to become unhappy in the long run. Since most people are Matchers, they tend to pull away when they feel that the demands being placed on them have become excessive—in other words, when the amount they’re expected to give keeps increasing. Unless your personal brand is strong—unless you have a lot to give—you won’t be able to draw out a major gift in return. From that perspective, idols use a strategy of giving small amounts of attention to a large, unspecified audience in order to receive small returns from them. So it’s only natural that the gifts from their fans are modest. How much you can get from someone through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) also depends on the strength of your personal brand. There are techniques for getting people to give you more, but they’re mostly short-term tricks, so significantly increasing the amount is quite difficult. Building your personal brand is a much more effective shortcut.

I’m Saito, the columnist♪ The higher the mountain, the more motivated I become. Low mountains don’t move me. Once you’ve climbed enough of every kind of mountain, you can tell what’s genuine, so anything less won’t work on you at all.

I’m Aya, a female member. In the idol world the questioner is talking about, I’m the type who thanks fans too much. With this style, I wasn’t able to rise that high at lounges or Ginza clubs. Especially with Ginza hostesses, I feel that the ones who act more like unattainable flowers tend to have more fans than those who fawn over their customers (though there are of course exceptions). That theory doesn’t apply as much to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), though. I don’t make requests, so I don’t regularly receive designer items every month or anything like that. Instead, the amount of cash I receive gradually increases. It’s not about making a lot in the short term; rather, the allowance grows over the course of a long-term relationship, or a steady allowance continues. So I don’t really feel like I’m losing out just because I’m kind. That said, I do think what the questioner said—only thanking someone when they give you something you truly want—is right. Once, when a papa gave me a necklace as a surprise, I said something like, “I don’t need something this expensive. I don’t even like the design. If you’re going to give me one, I’d be happy with something cheaper—could you get me this one instead?” and he bought me a different one. But when I received a necklace I genuinely wanted and wore it every day, he was absolutely delighted. So rather than simply trying not to say thank you too much, I think it’s about consistently showing clear reactions when you get something—or receive the kind of treatment—you actually want.