In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I assume women never take out their wallets, but in ordinary dating, how many years older can a man be before you’d expect the woman to pay? I’m a college student, and among people around my age, splitting the bill is pretty normal. Even when it isn’t exactly split, the woman might cover the change, so it’s rare for the man to pay for everything. I also work part-time at a convenience store near my university, and I often see college couples treating each other as equals—for example, the woman buying something for her boyfriend too. Sometimes they even pay separately. This is true even when the girl is extremely cute and the guy is just average-looking, so my impression is that splitting the bill is simply normal for college students.
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With working adult couples, the man often pays the whole bill, while the woman might only contribute the change. But I think that’s probably because they’re around the same age. In a normal relationship where there’s a slight age gap, how many years older can the man be before the woman is still expected to take out her wallet? I’m specifically asking about cases where the woman is younger.
I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a column writer.
Generally, splitting the bill is the norm. According to the latest survey, 80% of couples usually split the bill.
As for the exact breakdown, 50% said the man pays a little more, while 30% split it almost exactly down the middle.
I usually pay myself and leave it up to the other person how much she wants to contribute. But if a woman casually takes it for granted that everything will be paid for, I cut things off after we’ve had sex a few times.
There’s also statistical data suggesting that women who readily let men pay for everything are more likely to betray their partners in the future.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
If it’s a working male and a female student, I’d say the guy paying is pretty standard.
I came of age at the end of the bubble era, when working men always paid for their girlfriends. Even university group dates were paid for by the guys—brings back memories.
These days, it probably depends on the people involved. If they’re the same age, they split the bill, while the person with more money tends to treat.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Maybe times have changed, but when I was in college, I remember usually treating my dates, with the occasional Dutch treat.
I’ve only ever dated younger women.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I feel it’s determined more by the income gap than the age gap. When colleagues split the bill, it’s probably less because they’re the same age and more because they earn about the same.
If you’re unsure, I think women should make a show of reaching for their wallet, signaling, “I assumed we were splitting the bill,” and then wait to see how the other person reacts. I consider this an essential skill for women.
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