When I first met this man, I asked what I should call him, and he told me to use his last name. His name on LINE is also just his last name. We’ve only met twice, but we’re planning to meet a third time. We haven’t progressed to an adult relationship (intimate) yet.
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I’ve been hesitant to ask because I wonder if he wants to keep his personal information private, but would it be okay to ask him the third time we meet?
He’s married, but it was an arranged marriage, and judging from what he’s told me, he seems never to have been in a romantic relationship before. (Apparently, seeing high school couples walking around makes him angry.)
Maybe that’s why he’s inexperienced and asked me to call him by his last name, but isn’t it kind of strange to keep using someone’s last name when you’re dating...?
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
> Isn’t it strange to call someone by their last name when you’re dating...?
I don’t think so. Calling him by his last name is perfectly fine.
The best thing is to call him whatever he says he’d like to be called.
Even if you ask again, I don’t think most men would worry about it much. But if someone kept asking you about something you found difficult to answer, you might find it a hassle.
If it’s still bothering you, try asking again in about six months. If he still only gives you his last name, you can just continue as you are. Or maybe by then, he’ll tell you his first name.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
That’s not strange at all. Calling someone by their last name is perfectly normal. I’ve been seeing two of my papas (male supporters) for years, and I still call them both by their last names.
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I’m Date ◎yume, a male member.
I’m using my last name too…
I’m an old guy, so if someone called me “◎yume-chan,” I’d feel a bit awkward and out of sorts.
Especially if other people were around—they’d probably think, “What’s with these two?”（笑)
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I don’t think there’s any problem with it at all.
After all, this is a dating club, and he isn’t your real boyfriend or husband.
This is just my personal impression, but the greater the age gap—and especially when the man is considerably older—the more they seem to want to be called things like “___-kun” or “___-chan.”
Personally, when it’s someone I respect, I still want to call him “Mr. ___.”
Akari
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I think using their last name with “Mr.” or “Ms.” is perfectly fine. It’s not strange at all.
I’ve told my monthly arrangement partner my full name, but they still call me by my last name with “-san.”
Even during an adult relationship (intimate), they’ll say, “Mr./Ms. ○○, that feels good,” using my last name. It’s polite, and honestly, I like it better that way.
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