After dropping or being dropped by various PJ partners, for some reason none of the LINE accounts of the women I no longer keep in touch with are blocked. I have no way to confirm cases where I was the one who blocked them, but even when it’s obvious that I was dropped—such as being left on unread—I’ve checked by trying to send a sticker and found that I haven’t been blocked (just to be clear, I can check before actually sending it, so they don’t know I checked).
There’s actually one JD I was dropped by whom I still have feelings for. If she hasn’t blocked me, I’m thinking of waiting a little longer for things to cool down and then messaging her on LINE after some time has passed. But even if I haven’t been blocked, if I’ve been hidden, she won’t read my messages anyway, so I’m not sure what to do and it’s been bothering me. I wonder if people nowadays avoid blocking someone and simply hide them because blocking makes it obvious to the other person. What do you all think?
By the way, I’m the person who previously asked the question below when someone suddenly started leaving my messages unread. Thank you to everyone who answered at the time. I was especially comforted by the kind responses from the men, which I read through in tears. I’m truly grateful.
Taking the advice to heart, I decided not to make the foolish move of sending a second offer. This incident also made me feel that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is empty, so lately I’ve mainly been active on a married-people dating club. Since we’re both serious about having an affair, I feel that being involved with married people suits me better. However, I still haven’t gotten over that particular JD, and I’ve been agonizing over whether there’s any way to meet her before I officially start seeing my married lover.
https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/8134
I’d appreciate everyone’s comments.
I’m Fuu, a relationship columnist.
I’ve hidden almost all the girls I’ve ended things with.
Since they’re hidden, they won’t see any LINE messages I send. But I knew the birthday of one girl I still had feelings for—though I figured she’d hidden me—so I sent her a LINE gift. All I got back was a “Thanks” right then and there. After that, she disappeared again（笑）. Back to being hidden.
I guess that’s just how it goes.
It probably won’t work, but if you really can’t let go, you could try sending a LINE gift as a last resort. Even if you’re hidden, the recipient can still see the gift notification. It might slightly improve your chances.
If it doesn’t work, give up and move on—try a social club for married people, or papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)! There are plenty of great girls on the club’s site waiting for your offer. Go for someone who’s motivated!
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Hmm… it’s hard to put into words, but once something starts, you naturally go through a story of sorts.
So ending things that way—or more precisely, it never “started” in the first place.
From the woman’s perspective, an adult relationship involving an allowance doesn’t mean you’ve grown any closer, and nothing has really begun.
Since it never started, there’s no ending either.
You were never truly caught, so there’s no “release” involved.
At that moment, for that allowance, you had an adult relationship.
That’s all it was: just a single “point.” A “point.”
All you can do is grit your back teeth in frustration and endure it.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
I also read your previous question and the answers. Even from a calm, objective perspective, you seem to be making some assumptions, but since you still appear to be going around in circles despite the time that’s passed, I’ll answer with some understanding of how you’re feeling.
I understand that this is painful. It’s obvious how deeply you truly loved her. But it’s over. You have to accept that it’s ended—you probably already know that.
But because you still love her and can’t forget her, you don’t want to accept the ending. Aren’t you using things like LINE’s blocking feature to inflate that tiny possibility of “maybe” in your own mind?
I understand that you want to test those feelings one more time and express them to her. But if she doesn’t reply at all, will that satisfy you? Will you be able to move on? Or will you start looking for another glimmer of hope?
Does she really have to be the one to kill off the feelings you can’t let go of? Do you really need her to be the one to bring things to an end for you?
If so, then maybe that’s what you should do.
But if you truly loved her and care about her, why not try to put those feelings to rest yourself? Why not end it on your own?
If you’re grateful to her, why not say “thank you” out loud and delete the LINE chat? She’s young and has her whole life ahead of her. As an adult, why not send her off with a smile and in silence? You do want her to be happy, don’t you?
You’re an adult. That’s what an adult man should do.
Let’s watch Demon Slayer together tonight. Rengoku is a real man, after all lol.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I don’t block people very often. They might hold a grudge if I did, and I’d also feel a little guilty.
Also, even if you hide someone, they’ll show up again when you receive a new message from them.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think some women simply don’t want to block you, even though they have no intention of meeting again.
If there’s any chance at all, the only thing I can think of is offering a significantly higher allowance—enough to surprise her.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think you’ll be blocked unless you do something seriously unpleasant. Even if someone is hidden, wouldn’t they show up again when a new message comes in?
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I’m in Seattle.
If you still feel that strongly about her, why not make one last attempt by offering about three times the usual allowance? You might get turned down, but at least you’ll know you tried.
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