A few days ago, I met a man and went out for dinner and then to a hotel with him on our first meeting. I usually confirm the terms before going to a hotel, but we had so many things in common that the conversation really flowed. He was also young and exactly my type, so I ended up going to the hotel without confirming the terms.
At the end, the man handed me an envelope. I felt it would be awkward to check the contents in front of him, so I waited until after we parted ways—and there was only 1 inside.
For an adult relationship (intimate), I usually receive around 5–6, and if it had been anyone else, I probably would have completely blown up and thought, “Are you kidding me?!” But this man looks just like my favorite actor, we get along really well, and the intimacy was amazing. So when I think of it as getting an allowance from someone who’s handsome and a great match for me, I find myself thinking it might not be so bad after all...
Today, he contacted me to invite me out for a second time, and I’m unsure whether I should see him again.
Normally, this would be an instant block for me, but he’s so incredibly my type that I can’t think clearly. Should I avoid getting involved with a man who only offers 1 for an adult relationship (intimate)? Sorry for the long post.
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here with an answer as well.
> If he hadn’t been this particular man, I probably would have blown up and said, “Are you kidding me?!”
> But he looks exactly like an actor I like, we get along well, and the intimacy is amazing. So when I think of it as getting an allowance from someone who’s handsome and compatible with me, I feel like it might not be such a bad deal after all...
I think you’ve already written the answer yourself.
If you feel good about it, then I think it’s fine.
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That’s definitely deliberate.
A handsome, arrogant “I’m the prize” type.
Most likely, by the next meeting—or the one after that—there won’t be any allowance.
And after that, he’ll probably be pushing for no protection.
He sounds like the kind of person who’s trouble.
That future is obvious if you look at it objectively, but if you still want to meet him and be held by him, then I suppose that’s your choice.
Akari
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Seattle.
I think it’s fine to keep seeing him. Life is about having fun.
Just don’t expect to become his girlfriend. He has around 15 women. Treat him as a friends-with-benefits partner who gives you an allowance, and keep it transactional.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think the key point is what the questioner hopes to get out of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
For example, if your goal is to satisfy your sexual needs, then you should be happy to have found someone who satisfies you for just 1.
The same applies if you’re not struggling financially and are simply saving for the future.
However, if you realistically need money because you have debts, are having trouble repaying student loans, or are burdened by high rent, then I think it’s reasonable to end things if that allowance isn’t enough.
He’s young, handsome, good in bed, and even gives you a little spending money. It sounds like a good deal, but there are probably plenty of rivals. Just be careful not to develop genuine feelings for him.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
It’s casual dating, so if you’re hesitating, just go for it lol.
Meet them and see for yourself whether it’s worth it.
I’m the type who usually waits until we’ve met at least twice before deciding.
Everyone puts their best foot forward on the first meeting, after all.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
If you think it’s good, then I don’t see why not＼(^o^)／
As for what to think of a man who gives you 1: if he disappears after that one day and never contacts you again, then that’s pretty malicious. But he hasn’t stopped contacting you about meeting again, right? And besides, you’re not exactly unhappy about it either lol. My guess is that he’s confident he can still make it work even with that amount—and he probably has some experience too.
People often talk about the going rate for allowances, but money isn’t the only thing that can be exchanged in a relationship, so I think arrangements like that are perfectly fine. (I’m jealous—but not of the allowance amount. I’m jealous that you’ve got hearts in your eyes for him lol.)
That said, some men reading this might try to copy him or get the wrong idea and say, “Stop posting things like this—it’ll just encourage more of them!” People might even overanalyze it as the opposite of a “raise the going rate” campaign post, so please be careful!
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You’re doing that because you know you’re attractive, right?
That’s why I don’t like handsome men.
More precisely, I don’t like handsome men who think they’re handsome.
There may be someone so attractive that you’d be willing to pay just to meet him, so decide based on your own values.
Marika
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