Do you always have sex in the same sequence? We’ve been together for a long time, but it’s become so predictable that I’m really bored. Kiss → touching → oral → sex
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Even each of those steps follows almost exactly the same routine and timing.
Am I the only one who can suggest trying something different?
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this one too.
> Am I really the only one who can suggest things?
I think you should make suggestions.
Even if it feels repetitive, the other person may simply like that position. But if you want to try more things, you should say so.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
With my long-term girlfriends and wife, once we’ve established an ideal—or rather, satisfying—pattern, it stays more or less the same for decades. It’s something we look forward to, and our satisfaction is high.
With those where we haven’t established that pattern, we’re still experimenting and trying different things even after many years. The level of satisfaction with sex is a little lower.
If things feel monotonous, I think that probably means satisfaction is low, so it’s better to try various things sooner rather than later. Compatibility doesn’t change easily or quickly, so the earlier you work on it, the better.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Women can make the first move, too. Most men are happy about it.
Saying things like:
“I can’t wait any longer—let’s do it here”
(in the kitchen, in the car, outside…?)
“I want to take the lead,” and then actually taking charge,
or waking up to find yourself receiving oral sex—
That kind of thing really gets a guy fired up.
Men often hesitate to say what they want because they’re afraid of being rejected.
They also want women to say things like, “I want to do H this way.”
When it comes to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I was so afraid of being disliked and cut off that it took over a year of seeing him before I finally got the standing position I’d been hoping for. That’s Fuu.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
That made me wince (汗). Don’t those patterns naturally develop with the person you’re seeing?
So I do need to change things…
A woman’s best qualities can vary from day to day, so there’s some variation as you look for them, but I guess the overall schedule stayed the same.
Please tell your partner. If something he’s doing with good intentions isn’t working, men will adjust too. I’ll take that to heart as well (T_T).
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It depends on how that man views sex.
If he sees it as nothing more than a bare minimum necessity for having children, then it’s no surprise that things would be bland and repetitive.
If you’re already in a rut at this stage, you’d almost certainly end up in a sexless marriage if you married him.
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Ayase Nana ♡
Are you not planning to make any move yourself?
I’m going to wear a school swimsuit next time, even though I’m in my late 40s… My figure isn’t a problem, but it’s so embarrassing that I can only show it to him. Even in front of him, I’ll probably feel so shy that I’ll be fidgeting.
Still, part of me wants to try wearing it. It’s embarrassing to even feel that way.
Why don’t you try a school swimsuit, a full-body fishnet outfit, or a bunny-girl costume at least once? You could also use a vibrator and pleasure each other, or watch some adult videos together and learn from them.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
It seems that right now, it’s just Marika and me answering questions, but please feel free to make suggestions. Men can be idiots too, so that’s all they know...
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The quickest way is to change the setting.
Try going to a day-use hot spring, or if that’s difficult time-wise, switch hotels. If you usually stay at a business hotel, try a love hotel instead—or vice versa.
If you just want to change things up, you could start by having you go down on him.
You could also try some toys, or, if you want to change the situation quite a bit, a threesome.
There are plenty of ways to mix things up.
Marika
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