I want to stop treating my body carelessly. Today, I had dinner with a man who approached me for the first time, held hands, and let things go as far as almost kissing. On the way home, he showed his true colors, suddenly becoming cold and distant as if he were a completely different person, and left.
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Should I be hospitalized?
I lose chunks of my memory.
I can’t talk to anyone about this.
I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist.
Speaking as someone who approaches women, I’d say it’s completely normal. You’re not treating anyone carelessly at all.
Doing what you want and refusing to do what you don’t want doesn’t mean you’re treating yourself carelessly. There’s a big difference between something being “careless” by society’s standards and it being “careless” according to your own beliefs. If being showered with attention or enjoying sexual pleasure makes you happy, it’s perfectly fine to accept that.
You learn this quickly when you approach women. Even women who have sex within 30 minutes of meeting someone and get completely carried away may still put on a respectable front at work. The healthiest thing is to reconcile those different sides of yourself. Trying to force them into one perfectly consistent identity without making peace between them is the most unhealthy option.
As for the approaching story, I think what really hurt was simply being treated coldly at the end. Use your sexual appeal to surround yourself with people who are kind to you.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here—I’ll answer too.
> Should I be hospitalized?
Whether you need to be hospitalized is ultimately up to a doctor, but I think you should go to the hospital.
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I’m in Seattle.
If they’re a wonderful person, why not have sex with them? It’s not like you’ll lose anything.
If you’re drinking too much, though, you should be careful.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I think you should decide on one boundary that you absolutely won’t cross—for example, not going to hotels or not kissing. By staying within that line, you can at least preserve a basic sense of self-respect. And over time, I think you’ll also stop falling into the habit of attracting weird pickup attempts.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If things got as far as almost kissing, it doesn’t sound like he was treating you carelessly. And since he remembers it, it doesn’t seem like he blacked out.
If there was another occasion—separate from the one in your question—when he seemed to have lost his memory, I think he should see a doctor.
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