Kida, the representative, will answer.
I’ll answer assuming you’re a woman.
Of course we want to address this, but please understand that judging these situations is incredibly difficult.
As a club, we determine whether to take action based on whether the man has behaved gentlemanly toward the woman.
For example, suppose there were a man with a fetish for making a woman drink a liter of his saliva. If he forced her to do it, then obviously that would be unequivocally “ungentlemanly.”
We can’t condemn a man simply because he had sex without a condom. The important point is whether he acted forcefully while disregarding the woman’s wishes.
Was the exchange something like this?
“I’ve had a vasectomy, I get tested for STDs every month, and I’m allergic to condoms. I’ll give you a generous allowance, so how about going without one?”
“Um… no, that’s not okay.”
I suspect that perhaps one in ten women either don’t mind going without a condom or are extremely vulnerable to pressure, and the men are hoping they might get lucky.
They’re free to try.
You’re free to refuse.
I’m sorry to say this, but I want you to refuse with all your strength. Don’t worry about being polite or reading the atmosphere—get dressed immediately, tell him, “I’m reporting to the club that you were ungentlemanly,” and leave with your allowance.
Men are also afraid that getting into trouble with a woman could affect their work or family life.
If we receive complaints from multiple women, we will of course confirm the facts with the man. If he doesn’t change his behavior, we expel him from the club.
If you’re a male member asking this question, I’d want to say:
“You’re right. You probably don’t want to be lumped together with men who are that inexperienced when it comes to dating. I’m sorry.”
I’d like to become the kind of man women beg, “Please, don’t use a condom!”
Maezawa here.
> Personally, I feel that if there’s confirmed evidence and complaints from multiple women, it would be reasonable to permanently ban the man.
When we receive a complaint from a woman, we first warn the man involved. Our staff want both parties to have an enjoyable experience meeting each other.
In many cases, the man isn’t even aware that his actions made the woman uncomfortable.
That’s because men often believe that, in the end, the woman agreed to what happened. They usually don’t think of it as having forced her.
So they often even ask her out on another date.
However, from the woman’s perspective, she may feel that saying anything more would be pointless, that all she could do was endure it, and that she couldn’t do anything else because she was physically overpowered. As a result, the club may receive a negative report about the man.
Because there can be such a difference in how each side understands the situation, we would like to warn the man first.
But when we ask the woman, “May we confirm this with him?” most women say:
“Please don’t.”
They’re afraid of retaliation because they’ve already shared their phone number and some personal information with the man.
For that reason, it becomes difficult to count the complaint as a negative evaluation of the man, and it’s also difficult to say, “He’s being permanently banned because he has received several negative evaluations,” when we haven’t even warned him.
However, if the woman makes a proper report, and the man fails to improve after being warned—or if he knowingly continues despite being aware that she is uncomfortable—and this happens repeatedly, the man will be permanently banned.
That said, acts that violate the law, such as drunk driving or secretly filming someone, result in an immediate permanent ban after just one incident.
In cases involving secretly filming someone, women often take the evidence with them, so the man is permanently banned based on that evidence.
(Evidence is important.)
