We moved on to an adult relationship (intimate) after the arranged dinner.
While I was showering, the man came in, briefly rinsed himself off, and left without washing with body soap.
I watched in stunned disbelief, but then thought, “No way—that’s dirty!” I washed properly myself, then asked him to apply body soap and wash properly too.
He stubbornly refused, saying that he had already showered before coming, so it wasn’t necessary.
I just couldn’t accept it, so I returned half of the allowance and left.
If I hadn’t witnessed it, I might never have realized that he hadn’t really showered, but once I saw it, there was no way I could go through with it.
I’m really happy when someone showers beforehand, especially this time of year. But would it be selfish of me to ask him to wash properly once more before moving on to an adult relationship (intimate)?
I can’t stand it when his private area smells of sweat or bacteria when I try to give him oral. Especially when it’s someone I’m meeting for the first time.
Even on the first day
> I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who’s had situations where the two of us got carried away and things progressed without even taking a shower...
That said, if showering beforehand is the plan, then not just on the first day but for the first few times, I go along with the woman’s preference and only shower together after getting her consent. Whenever possible, I prefer to wait until afterward to shower together. I think it’s only natural to respect the woman’s wishes.
Still, this is a club for enjoying relationships, so I do think it would be nice to have relationships where you can also enjoy natural situations like:
> the two of you getting carried away and things progressing without even taking a shower...
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I’m Dai, a male member.
He sounds like the kind of man who would do something unbelievable, such as walking in while a woman he’s just met is taking a shower.
Can’t he imagine how embarrassing that would be?
The way he washed himself was unhygienic, and I doubt being intimate with someone like that would feel good either, so ending things right away was the right call.
I don’t think you were being unreasonable at all.
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I’m Ishibashi from the staff, and I’ll answer as well!
If you’re both caught up in the moment and things proceed without even taking a shower, I suppose that can’t be helped. But normally, I believe it’s good manners to freshen up before intimacy.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
Come to think of it, I once heard feedback about a man saying, “I hated that he wouldn’t wash me.” Could it be the same person?
He probably doesn’t want his wife to notice the smell of soap when he gets home.
So maybe the claim that he showered beforehand was also a lie, and he simply doesn’t want to wash himself.
But love hotels usually have unscented body wash, so does that mean you’re staying at regular hotels? If so, I can’t help thinking he could just buy the same body wash he uses at home. Does that possibility not even occur to him?
I’d like to ask him why.
> Would it be selfish to ask him to wash properly once again before an adult relationship?
Not at all. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say that to someone who doesn’t wash.
I think washing without being asked is the normal thing to do.
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I’m Nana Ayase ☆
As a basic rule, I shower and make sure I’m clean all year round before meeting someone.
Of course, there’s always a chance that COVID or the flu could have gotten onto me while I was traveling. And I’ve used the restroom too, so I shower once I get to the hotel.
There are all kinds of people out there, but a lot of them seem to assume they’re clean, don’t they?
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Kōsaka from the staff here, so I’ll answer as well.
He just comes across as plain lazy...
If that’s the kind of person he is, you’d probably have to keep an eye on him the whole time whenever he takes a bath. That’s scary going forward... >＜
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
What a sad misunderstanding. I’m sure the person who asked the question was hurt, but I imagine the man involved was pretty hurt as well.
It would have looked much better if he had left the full allowance behind, but instead of reflecting on having acted immaturely, he may have let his anger over something else distract him from the real issue.
That aside, I think this is actually a very useful example for the men reading this site, so it’s a good question.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
> But would it be unreasonable to ask her to wash properly one more time before becoming intimate?
Not at all. I shower before a date too, but I may sweat or use the restroom, so I wash again before getting into bed. I don’t think that’s being unreasonable. It’s the kind of thing you’d do without even being asked.
Maybe that man just didn’t like the smell of a different soap on her...
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I’m a male member—basically a loser.
Whether it’s a first date or with someone I see regularly, taking a shower and brushing my teeth right before the date is the absolute bare minimum. Even in winter. If I can’t shower beforehand, I won’t meet up.
On top of that, once we get to the room, I always shower and brush my teeth again. That’s also the absolute bare minimum.
Regular dental checkups and taking care of my teeth are a given, too.
The only real question is who showers first.
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