I'm a male member, and there's a woman I've been seeing twice a month consistently for the past six months.
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She told me that she isn't good at keeping in touch and doesn't message her friends or boyfriend regularly unless there's a reason to, so I only contacted her when arranging our next meeting.
She was also a student and basically available anytime, so I adjusted my schedule and invited her each time.
Recently, I was too busy with work to invite her, and by the time I thought I'd contact her when I was free to meet again, about two months had passed.
She hadn't contacted me during that time either.
This week, I reached out to invite her after a long absence, but she hasn't even read the message after about a week.
She had always replied within the same day, so I assume she may have blocked me.
I can't think of any particular reason she would have cut me off, so I wonder if it was because I didn't contact her for two months. Even if someone isn't good at keeping in touch, is it still a bad idea to go that long without contacting them?
We always had a great time together, and I felt that the distance we kept when we weren't meeting made things comfortable for both of us, but...
I’m Ayase Nana♡
I’m not very good at keeping in touch… I tend to worry that I might be bothering the other person. So I don’t message during the day unless I’ve gone golfing, fishing, visited a rose garden, or done something like that.
I don’t frequently send “good morning” or “good night” messages either. Wouldn’t it be a bother if they’re with someone else?
You say the woman didn’t contact you, but what about you? Why didn’t you reach out? You left things that way for two whole months? If the situation were reversed, wouldn’t you think, “Wait, did they cut me off?”
How often were you contacting her? If someone left me alone for a week, I’d assume they were ending things and block and delete them.
Don’t blame the woman for this. You’re the one at fault.
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Setting aside the fact that he’s bad at keeping in touch,
you were too naive to think that, despite being your papa (a male supporter), you could still meet him as usual after leaving him alone for two months.
Akari
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I’m columnist Fuu.
Hopefully, if you wait a little longer, she’ll get back to you.
If you’ve been meeting twice a month for six months, she’s probably counting on that allowance. If it suddenly stops, she may try to make up the difference with another papa. It’s unfortunate, but she seems like a good girl, so she may already be looking for another papa.
Fuu usually meets her favorites once a month on a pay-per-meeting basis. But with the ones I don’t want to lose, I try to make sure we can meet every month. If we can’t, I’ll arrange to meet twice the following month so their expected allowance doesn’t decrease.
I discuss their availability and try to establish a regular schedule—for example, a certain day during the third week of every month—and we consult each other if either of us is unavailable. That helps keep things stable.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a column writer.
Access the LINE Store from your smartphone’s web browser
↓
Choose a sticker she probably doesn’t already have
↓
Select “Gift”
↓
Choose the girl in question
↓
If it says, “She already has this sticker,” you’ve been blocked.
If you’ve been blocked, move on.
If not, just wait patiently. Though even if you haven’t been blocked, I doubt she’ll reply.
Hold off on sending anything again until there’s an occasion, like her birthday, New Year’s, or Christmas.
After all, she can’t keep making room for a customer who might request her services at any time. She probably found another papa and moved on.
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I’m a male member named Dai.
I’m pretty laid-back myself, so things like that happen to me too.
By the way, have you properly checked whether you’ve been blocked?
Try sending a few different sticker gifts at random. If every one of them says “This person already has this sticker,” there’s a very high chance you’ve been blocked.
LINE also lets people turn off notifications for individual contacts.
If her notifications are off, and she’s the kind of person who leaves lots of messages unread, she may simply not have noticed because it’s been so long.
If you haven’t been blocked, it might be worth reaching out one more time.
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It’s Me here.
Maybe setting up a hypothesis will solve the mystery:
Her goal is money.
Contact and dates are simply the means to achieve that goal.
If she had no alternative way to achieve it, she probably would have taken some kind of action herself, such as reaching out to you.
Perhaps things turned out this way because she has alternatives, like “looking for another papa.”
You also have alternatives, such as making a new offer, so let’s move on! ♪( ´▽｀)
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Let’s wait another week or two—maybe even three.
Originally, if you only met about twice a month, it was the kind of relationship that could end at any time. Her claim that she’s bad at keeping in touch was probably made up, too.
If she thought she’d finally managed to end things, she won’t contact you.
On the other hand, if she thought you’d cut her off and has already found another papa (a male supporter), she may contact you eventually. Since she was pretending to be bad at keeping in touch, it would seem strange for her to message you before twice that amount of time has passed, so just be patient until then.
Also, if she doesn’t dislike you, she’ll meet you even if she gets in touch months later. The longer it’s been since you last saw each other, the sooner she’ll reply.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
> Even if someone isn’t good at keeping in touch, is it really bad not to contact them for a while?
I feel like being bad at keeping in touch and not contacting someone at all are two completely different things.
Saying, “I don’t regularly message my friends or boyfriend unless I have a reason to,” actually implies that they do reach out when they have a reason.
So the person in question was replying to your messages, right?
If they haven’t contacted you for two months, it’s understandable if they take it as:
No reason to contact you = no longer needed.
I think women are often more likely to want to end things themselves rather than be cut off by the other person.
They may think, “If you’re not going to contact me, then I’ll be the one to end it.”
Of course, there’s always the possibility that they happened to be hospitalized with COVID, or that their LINE account disappeared when they changed phones and they had to create a new one.
They might not appreciate it, but I think it would be okay to call and check what’s going on.
Basically, it sounds like you’ve already been cut off, so they probably won’t answer the phone either.
If you were truly too busy to meet, you still should have stayed in touch during that time. And if you were so busy that you couldn’t even contact them, then perhaps you should have shown that level of consideration by sending their allowance even without meeting.
> We had a great time whenever we met, and I thought we were both comfortable with the right amount of distance when we weren’t together...
Even if that’s how you saw it, the other person may have been meeting you simply for the allowance.
I hope you can learn to think about the other person’s feelings too, rather than only considering your own.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> Even if someone isn’t good at keeping in touch, is it really a problem to go without contacting them for a while?
I think two months was simply too long. You didn’t need to contact her constantly, but I feel it would have been better to check in from time to time.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Since he hadn’t contacted me for two months, I figured he’d decided to cut things off because he wasn’t coming back. Connections made through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are generally pretty tenuous, so things like that happen all the time.
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