Is there any way to find out whether the person I’m seeing is still making offers to other women?
This content is machine-translated.
Maybe I’m not cut out for dating through an arrangement club. I just can’t bring myself to continue seeing a man like that... Until I registered, I thought this was supposed to be a one-on-one affair arrangement (sorry for being so clueless).
I’d like to think about whether to continue seeing him, so I’d appreciate your advice.
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I may be the only respondent who’s seeing just one person, but I’m sure there are others like me in reality.
That said, many men at dating clubs keep searching for the best possible partner, and the club system itself tends to stimulate that male instinct. Unless a man is truly committed, I think it can be difficult.
Still, my honest impression is that it’s not impossible. Just as a woman needs to feel that a man is someone she can compromise on, he simply needs to find a woman he can be patient with. If both sides can reach an understanding—or make compromises—this can also lead to a good, long-term relationship.
I think it’s best to have a proper conversation with your partner.
In my case, it was an older gentleman and a young woman with more than a 40-year age gap, so we often had deep discussions. At first, she was completely focused on money, but as other men gradually ended their relationships with her, each conversation seemed to bring her closer to the compromise of, “Maybe being with just だて is enough…”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a loser among the male members.
My top girl gives me all her personal information—including the address of her apartment and her parents’ house—even though I never asked. She even installed GPS herself and basically has me monitoring her movements. So I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have another papa or a boyfriend. Probably, anyway.
If she did have another papa, I’d be impressed—it would go beyond making me lose faith in people.
*I do encourage her to get a boyfriend, though.
The girl ranked second isn’t from the club, so I don’t think she has any other papas, but I do know she has a boyfriend.
As for the other women I’m seeing, I don’t know whether they have other papas, and there’s no way for me to find out. But I’m almost certain they do. I actually encourage them to find other papas.
I completely understand how you feel. You want to know, right...?
In the end, the only girls who don’t have other papas are my top two—the ones ranked first and second. So perhaps the women ranked third and below, whom I encourage to find other papas, can’t truly be called “kept” partners. I’d like to be more open-minded.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Dai, a male member.
There are quite a few women who feel the same way you do.
I’m looking for a relationship based on honesty and openness, so I’m honest about whatever I can be honest about.
For that reason, I’ve never continued seeing a woman who was uncomfortable with me dating multiple women.
I’m sure many men tell convenient lies, but in the end, it comes down to whether you can trust the man you’re seeing.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I think you’ll get a better sense of it if you try to meet him as often as possible. It might also help to be honest with your papa about how you feel.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kamihikōki, a male member.
I think it’s perfectly natural for someone like the questioner to feel that way.
There are quite a few women who share your outlook. And some women end up feeling the same way after graduating from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
There are also men who are a good match for women like that, so I think many of them find what they’re looking for.
It’s also important for both people to trust each other.
> Makeotoko-san
Statistically, once the allowance reaches ¥50,000 per pay-per-meeting arrangement, they apparently don’t take on another papa (a male supporter). On the other hand, they tend to break things off quickly whenever they have a fight.
Even if both arrangements are once a month, I feel there’s a big difference between ¥50,000 and ¥40,000 per meeting.
If yours is ¥50,000 or more per meeting, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the president’s office will answer as well.
We can’t even confirm whether the man is still a member, so we can’t say whether he’s making offers either.
For example, even if he quit Universe so it would appear that he isn’t making offers there, he may still be dating through another dating club.
To find that out, you’d probably need to pay a private investigator to look into it.
Having someone follow him for a month would likely cost a considerable amount, but with that level of surveillance, I think you’d be able to find out whether he’s meeting other women.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
