Everyone, what reasons do you have for saying goodbye to a woman you’ve met five or more times? If there’s anything I should avoid doing or any advice you can give, I’d appreciate it. Also, what makes you want to keep seeing someone?
This content is machine-translated.
I absolutely adore the woman I’m currently seeing (one first meeting and five adult relationship dates), and I don’t want her to dislike me. I’m worried that my feelings may be coming on too strong and turning her off.
Other than “I met someone better,” I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do to improve myself.
Of course, I never negotiate for a higher allowance or ask her for anything.
I’m in Seattle.
This is a question from a female member, right?
I’ve been seeing someone for years—someone whose actions made me feel that he genuinely cared about me, even without saying it outright.
The only reason I’d say goodbye is if I met someone even more wonderful.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It’s me.
What’s the reason behind the questioner’s “liking” someone?
For me, whether I come to “like” a woman depends on how much value I feel in the time we spend together.
I’m in my 50s, but when women in their 20s or 30s have experiences, knowledge, and connections that I don’t, and I learn something or gain new insights every time we meet, I want to keep seeing them. It’s about how fulfilling we can make the time outside of an adult relationship. That’s how it is for me, anyway.
With women I stop seeing, we may hit it off and have fun at first, but by the first or second date, we both start to sense that something is slightly off. It’s not about liking or disliking each other, or one of us being good or bad—it’s just a mismatch. I think the other person feels it too, so after meeting two or three times, we naturally fade out. No awkwardness or stress involved.
Men tend to get bored easily once they enter an adult relationship, so I think making it to five dates is a good sign. It comes down to how much value you can create for each other outside of the adult relationship. That’s why I “like” someone and why things continue for me.
Physical compatibility and your respective views on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are also extremely important. But if that’s all there is, it becomes much harder to keep things going. In fact, I don’t think anyone continues seeing someone based on those things alone.
Sorry for the long answer!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think it really comes down to two things:
- Treat her properly within the framework of the dating club.
- Keep your promises.
That said, I’ve never actually had to say goodbye to a woman I’d met five times or more…
In my three years with the dating club, I’ve experienced everything from having my offers rejected to suspecting someone of misrepresenting her dating type. The first woman who told me, “I’d be open to seeing you”—with an age gap of over 40 years—said, “Okay, okay, thank you~” And then we continued meeting every other week for ages, haha.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Dai, a male member.
Men tend to be more invested when they haven’t won someone over yet.
It may be important not to let them realize you’ve fallen for them too much.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a male member, and my username is Paper Airplane.
In my case, if every meeting involves an adult relationship (intimate), I eventually stop seeing her—even if I really like her and we’re compatible.
As a result, I tend to continue seeing women who I meet frequently for fun dates in between our intimate encounters.
As a man, it meant a lot to me when a woman told me she wanted to go out somewhere with me, have dinner together, or simply see me—even without receiving an allowance. (Of course, I did give her one, but that’s what she said at the beginning.) It’s a memory I’ll always cherish.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
There’s far too little information about the other person to offer any real advice.
Broadly speaking, your options are probably either to let them do as they please or to go along with them.
I understand how you feel. I’m starting to like the woman I’m currently seeing a little, too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
At first I wondered, “What kind of question is that?” But I guess you’re asking how to avoid being disliked by men and what to be careful about if you want to stay together for a long time?
That said, sometimes people lose interest over the smallest things.
Some men like women who openly and passionately show how much they like them, while others may break things off because that kind of relationship could disrupt their family life.
So the right approach depends on the person.
You could constantly observe their expressions, figure out what they like, and try to become their ideal type.
But some people are attracted to women who don’t seem all that interested in them.
So I’d say: watch your partner closely, think about things, and never stop thinking, no matter the situation.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
