Have you ever met a woman through a dating club whom you couldn’t forget? What made her so memorable? And would you ever contact her again?
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The reason I ask is that I often receive messages from men every so often saying things like, “I just can’t forget you,” or “If you’re available, would you like to meet again (＾＾)?” But I have to be careful every time I think of how to politely decline, and it’s gradually becoming a hassle. I assume they’re probably just messaging me on a whim after something reminded them of me, but if there was a reason we stopped seeing each other, why do they keep contacting me...?
I feel bad for them, so I end up replying anyway—there have apparently been times when the club received complaints because I didn’t respond.
I want them to understand that contacting me won’t lead anywhere. How should I respond so that they get the message?
I met him through Universe, but we stopped seeing each other because of his circumstances. He contacted me again after more than six months, but by then I didn’t have time to meet him, so I left his message unread.
I feel like I made the right choice.
Marika
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
There is one, actually—just one. He was exactly my type, both in personality and looks, so I did contact him once.
But I found out I’d been blocked on LINE.
If they keep contacting you after you’ve turned them down, I think you should block them too.
It’ll help them move on as well.
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I’m sorry, but I found your breath difficult to handle, so I’d prefer it if you didn’t open your mouth. Also, the allowance you’re offering is about three times lower than what I had in mind. I’m truly sorry, but I don’t think we’re a good match.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Embarrassingly, I’ve done that before, too (haha). As a result, even if we met once or twice, it never lasted, so these days I make a point of not contacting them anymore. I guess there’s usually a reason things stop progressing.
Oh, right—answering your question (^^ゞ
To avoid giving him false hope, please make it clear that you won’t be able to meet him anymore. I think that way, he’ll be able to give up and move on.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I wonder if Zao’ral really does bring someone back… The odds definitely seem lower than with Dragon Quest’s Zao’ral.
You seem like a very conscientious person, which is great. Women who handle things so thoughtfully are rare.
As for whether there’s a woman I can’t forget—there is, in a sense, but I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do about it.
In a selfish situation, I’ve sometimes cut things off myself for reasons unrelated to her looks or intimacy, only to later think, “I’d like to see her again.”
Also, for various reasons, there are times when I go a while between meetings. Sometimes, when I want to see someone again after more than a month, I find that she’s blocked me.
With some women, I’ve gotten back in touch after six months, but our schedules didn’t work out and we ended with a “See you again.” There are also women I haven’t been able to see for over a year.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It’s best to leave the message unread.
They probably just aren’t satisfied with their current monthly arrangements…
Don’t worry about it.
I hope you find enough wonderful men with ongoing arrangements that you can leave the club anytime—even if someone complains to them about you.
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It’s me.
Are you trying to revive them or something?＾＾
The person answering is very kind, but that kindness may actually be the cruelest thing for the other person. Don’t feel sorry for them. Don’t be vague—be firm.
“ We can’t meet anymore.”
“Please don’t contact me again.”
That’s all you need to say. Keep it simple and clear, and don’t explain why.
Say “I can’t meet you” rather than “I don’t want to meet you.” Even if they ask why, just say, “Please read between the lines.” Don’t say “I’m sorry,” either. If you have good memories together, you could at least say, “Thank you,” at the end.
If you can’t do that, blocking them on LINE is fine. At least it will probably cause fewer complications than replying with a long message.
Also, inform the club to protect yourself against complaints. If the messages keep coming, give the club feedback about that too.
It’s the staff’s job to keep female members satisfied and protect them from anxiety. I’m sure they’ll handle it properly♪( ´▽｀)
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Yep, I’ve done that before too（笑）. There have even been women like that, although it’s pretty rare. I don’t think the reasons are ever anything good—like still having feelings, or not finding anyone new and deciding the previous person will do. If it’s on LINE, I’d just block them.
Are there really men who complain to the club? I have to wonder about that itself, but does the club actually take those complaints seriously?
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