I’m a college student, and it’s been just under a year since I joined this site. I’d say I’m fairly well-proportioned, though my face isn’t particularly striking, and I’ve been told I have a cute vibe. I think I’m friendly and personable.
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I’ve also been in adult relationships (intimate) with papa supporters who have already turned 60, and I feel fulfilled. I have no problem with kissing or holding hands either, since the person I’m currently seeing is someone I’ve come to like (within the bounds of papa-katsu). For a while, I optimistically thought that I was simply the type who could enjoy papa-katsu.
However, this was happening even before I started papa-katsu: at my part-time job, older men—probably all over 50—would give me a little spending money or treat me to meals. After I graduated, a male high school teacher also asked for my LINE ID and invited me out for drinks, just the two of us. These things are still happening. I never paid much attention to it at the time, but recently, while catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, I realized that I’m not particularly liked by men close to my own age. My friend said I could probably make a lot of money through papa-katsu, and that made me realize that the reason older men like me and I’m able to enjoy papa-katsu is because I’m young and have a broad range of what I’m comfortable with. In other words, I suddenly felt empty when I realized that youth may be all I have right now.
I want to become an attractive woman whose appeal goes beyond just being young. What should I do? Sorry for the vague question. I’d be happy to hear everyone’s thoughts.
It’s not that I’m fed up with being liked by papa supporters—I want to keep being liked by men even as I get older!
I’m Shing Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
First of all, the reason older men fuss over young women is because they don’t actually seem that young.
If a woman were truly cute and brimming with youth, older men would think, “She’s way out of my league,” and wouldn’t approach her.
In my experience, older men start approaching women when they give off a “she’s left on the shelf” vibe.
I’ve heard from many people that, although this has apparently become less common due to stricter workplace compliance policies, in offices, “once a woman turns 30 and is still unmarried, approaches from married men increase dramatically.”
That’s why “unpopular older men” pick up on the scent of women who aren’t popular and approach them.
I think that’s also why you receive so few approaches from men your own age.
So right now, you’re a woman who has nothing but youth—and is even starting to lose that. You need to recognize the seriousness of the situation.
As for what you should do: if possible, “have a dream and work toward it.”
If you can’t find a dream, simply work hard at your job.
As for clothes, “put together an outfit using brands that are slightly cheaper than what’s typical for your age.”
This is effective for attracting men your own age.
If you’d like more specific advice, feel free to ask another question.
I’m rooting for you.
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I’m in Seattle.
Since you’re a college student, I think getting a job or starting a business and making money through your main career would give you lifelong confidence—regardless of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
Hmm… sorry, this is just my very personal opinion, but maybe it’s missing a little “despair” or something? Adding “sadness” or “despair” might make it feel a bit better.
The emotional heaviness after you start dating might be tough for younger men, but before you start dating—having that sense of being almost within reach but not quite, or a hint of something darker—maybe that kind of thing is important when dealing with energetic young guys?
Though I could be completely off base. That’s just my personal preference, lol.
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I don’t think it’s just your youth that makes people like you. Even among young women, some naturally appeal to older men, while others don’t.
When I was young, I was the type older men liked.
I’m sure men your own age like you too—you may simply not be paying attention to them.
Also, as you get older, men your age will mature as well, and they’ll probably come to appreciate your charm.
Marika
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I’m Dai, a male member.
As you get older, you often find yourself envying the youth you have now.
I think you should continue meeting men with the same positive attitude and enjoying yourself.
The men around your age may not be showing much interest in you right now, but when they’re young, men tend to be a little less mature than women their age.
Give it a little more time, and men will settle down too. I hope you find someone wonderful then.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here—I’ll answer as well.
> In other words, I realized that youth is all I have right now, and suddenly felt empty.
That’s not true.
If youth were all you had, you wouldn’t receive offers, and you probably wouldn’t be able to maintain ongoing arrangements either.
Some men place a lot of importance on youth, but even then, they wouldn’t date a woman who only has youth to offer. I think being enjoyable to be around is what matters most. You may simply not realize it yourself, but I believe you’re someone who can have enjoyable conversations as well.
Also, there actually aren’t that many women who can interact with older men as naturally as if they were the same age. I think that’s a kind of talent.
It may well be precisely because you can interact with them that way that older men end up taking a liking to you.
> I want to become an attractive woman whose appeal goes beyond youth. What should I do?
I think simply having that mindset means you’re steadily building valuable experience.
And by spending time with various men going forward, you’ll pick up all kinds of general knowledge, turn it into real knowledge, and become someone who can handle a wide range of conversations.
For example, even if golf comes up, you’ll eventually be able to talk about it naturally. You’ll also gradually become more knowledgeable about whatever hobbies the men you meet happen to have—cars, motorcycles, boats, airplanes, trains, and so on.
So, by staying curious about all kinds of things and sometimes trying them together, I think you’ll become increasingly capable of engaging in a wide variety of conversations.
You can also enhance your appearance by maintaining your figure and paying a little attention to your beauty and grooming.
In the end, it comes down to whether you genuinely want that for yourself. If you already feel that way and continue living with the intention of becoming that kind of person, I think you’ll be just fine.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I don’t think you need to worry that much. With younger people, it may simply be that you haven’t had many opportunities to meet someone. If you keep meeting younger people and still get rejected, though, you might want to think about whether there’s something you could improve.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> Older men like me and I’m able to enjoy papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because I’m young and easygoing about the terms. In other words, I suddenly realized that all I have going for me right now is my youth, and it made me feel empty.
What a silly thing to say…
Of course, your youth is part of it, but please don’t forget that you’re also receiving offers because you have qualities that attract mature men.
What kind of woman are you?
I haven’t actually met you, but I imagined you as someone lovely, with a nice smile and a calm, pleasant presence.
Young men, on the other hand, seem to approach women more based on their “vibe” or energy—although that may not be the best way to put it—rather than their composure or atmosphere.
> I want to become an attractive woman whose appeal goes beyond just being young. What should I do?
I think it would help to work on things like your manners, poise, and makeup—things everyone should be doing anyway.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Women in their early twenties often seem very fixated on their youth. I’ve always wondered why. Some men are obsessed with youth, but I think most men aren’t nearly as focused on it as women in their early twenties may believe.
To me, an attractive woman is someone who has a special skill or passion. It could be a hobby, sex, or specialized knowledge that’s useful in her work.
I find women attractive when they can show me or teach me about a world I don’t know.
So, if you’re wondering what to do, I think it’s a good idea to develop your own special skill or passion. Why not pursue something you’re genuinely interested in?
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