I’m confused because a man I recently met is almost too kind. Are men like this rare?
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I’m a Type C in this dating arrangement, so every man who has offered to meet me so far has wanted an adult relationship unless I was on my period that day.
The allowance varies from 50,000 to 100,000 yen depending on the person, but usually we eat at a hotel or somewhere similar before moving on to intimacy. Some men have asked to do it without protection, and others have asked me to let them finish inside because they would pay for the morning-after pill.
I’m not exceptionally beautiful, nor do I have an especially glamorous background, so I accepted being treated like a way to satisfy their needs because I was getting paid, and I thought that was normal.
But the man I recently met gave me an allowance even though our first meeting was just dinner, and he also said that we wouldn’t have an adult relationship unless I genuinely wanted to. He says we can enjoy meals and shopping together, and that he’ll give me the same allowance even if things never become intimate.
He also listened with genuine interest when I talked about myself. This may sound overly dramatic, but I was moved to meet someone who treated me like a person for the first time.
Honestly, he’s almost too kind, and I feel bad about it. Are men like this common at dating clubs?
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office will answer as well.
> I’m confused because the man I recently met is almost too nice.
You won’t really know whether he’s a good person until you spend more time with him.
That said, if you can continue receiving the same allowance for dinner only (no intimacy), then he does seem like a good person.
Come to think of it, there was recently a question about a man who said going without protection would cost extra, making him seem like a professional. But if that’s the standard, then charging one amount for dinner only and adding more for intimacy is basically the same thing.
They say they don’t like allowances changing depending on what happens, yet they themselves try to change the allowance depending on whether it’s dinner or intimacy—and even think that’s perfectly natural.
It’s so absurd I could laugh my head off.
If we assume that only men who can accept a woman asking for extra allowance depending on what happens are allowed to change the allowance between dinner and intimacy, then most men normally wouldn’t accept that.
So perhaps this man is one of the few true gentlemen.
> Is it normal to find someone like this at a dating club?
Not at all. I think you should value him.
That said, compared with apps, dating clubs do seem to have slightly more men with that kind of financial leeway.
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Seattle.
From the second meeting onward, I get the feeling he’ll drop her pretty easily unless she’s the one who says she wants to.
He sounds like a generous (well-paying) papa who makes outrageously expensive purchases to gain the upper hand and get her to do what he wants. I bet there are a lot of women competing for him.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
In my experience, about 80% of them were like that. On the other hand, I’ve hardly ever been treated as a tool for sexual release, so my experience may be a little different from the questioner’s.
Maybe it was because my relationship type was B? I’m not really sure, but I think things can last if you value the papas you meet and don’t deceive them.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Based on my experience, that’s not normal—it’s rare. So you should value that man.
Actually, you might want to consider the possibility that he’s testing you.
He probably treats every woman the same way. In other words, he may be watching to see whether the woman who receives his generosity simply takes advantage of it, or gives something back in return.
Well, that’s exactly how I am, lol. I act warm and caring while watching the woman’s reaction—a sly old fox underneath it all. That’s me.
I think there are quite a few other sly old foxes with the same style, too.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I think that’s simply the man’s dating style.
In my case, the allowance is the same whether we’re intimate or not. The reason is that we only see each other twice a month, so if I paid only for dinner, the amount of support she received each month would be too small. To keep the arrangement stable, I pay a fixed monthly amount.
I also think a fixed amount may be good for her since it makes it easier to plan her spending.
Things have been going well lately（笑）
She’ll message me saying, “My period is late. If we’re intimate today, it might stimulate my female hormones and bring it on…”
Then, two days later: “My period came!”（笑）
I reply, “I’m glad I could be of help.”（笑）
Apparently, her appetite increases as her period approaches. But if it doesn’t come, that period of increased appetite lasts longer and she ends up gaining weight, which is a problem…
Well, I’m an old man, so I feel like she’s just making good use of me.
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
> “I was moved to meet someone who treated me like a person for the first time.”
That’s one way to interpret it. It could also mean she’s testing you, or that she thinks handing over money is all that matters.
It really depends on how you act and what you say.
In cases like yours, some girls will say, “I can’t accept that,” or “That’s too much,” while others will stubbornly refuse to take it at all. In situations like that, I feel the woman is treating you as a person—not merely because of the allowance—so I can’t help but wonder what you’re doing and saying.
I once managed to find out, during an online date, that a woman was receiving the same allowance as you for dinner only. Needless to say, I didn’t meet her in person.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If you’re impressed that he gives you an allowance even though the first meeting is dinner only, then you should choose Relationship Type B.
With Type B, the first meeting is generally dinner only anyway. There are also quite a few men who understand that the allowance differs between dinner and an adult relationship (intimate), and who are fine with things not developing into an adult relationship every time.
However, I assume what you mean is that he gives you the same allowance for dinner only as he would if things progressed to an adult relationship. If so, that doesn’t mean he’s genuinely treating you as a person.
He’s simply indulging you.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Come to think of it, there was a woman I really enjoyed talking with on our first date, so we ended up chatting in her room and missed the chance to have sex. When I was leaving, she tried to return the allowance because we hadn’t had an adult relationship (intimate).
I thought she was such a wonderful person, so I’m sure that man is a good person too.
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