I haven’t been able to meet the man I’ve been seeing during the pandemic. We were together for two years, but he says he can’t really leave the house right now and that we haven’t been able to meet since June because he won’t be able to see me until things settle down with the vaccines.
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He still contacts me, but am I just being kept on hold? I’m tired of waiting, and I’m struggling financially.
Are there really many men who avoid going out because they’re concerned about COVID?
I feel that if he truly wanted to see me and cared about me, he would make time and spend the money. I’ve come to realize that maybe I’m no longer worth that to him.
Should I just move on? I’d appreciate a man’s perspective.
I’m Dai, a male member.
I also have a chronic illness, so I’m concerned about COVID. As for dating, the pandemic has caused long-distance relationships to drop sharply, while arrangements nearby in Nagoya have actually increased.
But that’s been the case since last April.
So I find it a little hard to believe that COVID is the reason she hasn’t been able to meet you since this June.
If your partner had actually contracted COVID, I could understand—but otherwise, I think you should move on. Also, if your finances are affected after only about two months, you probably shouldn’t limit yourself to just one partner.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
No one can truly know another person’s values. Dwelling on something you can’t understand will only bring you down.
If you feel it’s time to move on, you should do so regardless of how the other person feels. Waiting is a waste of time.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I agree that salaried employees are in a tough situation right now. I’ve already retired from the workforce, so one advantage is that I can keep doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) regardless of COVID（笑）
If things are that difficult, I suppose all you can do is keep things going for now while looking for someone to take their place.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I work in a general-track position at a fairly large company, but I’m in sales, so if I happen to catch COVID, I can always use “for work” as an excuse.
But if I were stationed at headquarters, I feel like I’d be socially killed the moment I caught COVID. My performance evaluation would probably be the worst possible. That’s how intense the pressure is at headquarters.
The upper management with titles, especially, absolutely cannot afford to catch COVID. They’re under so much pressure that they might have no choice but to quietly come to work even if they did catch it.
It’s not the physical suffering of COVID that scares me—it’s being killed internally by the company.
Well, I guess you wouldn’t understand unless you’ve experienced it. Society really is a battlefield.
Some of Japan’s old-school major corporations are still like this.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think the man you’re interested in had probably been avoiding going out since last year, not just over the past few months since vaccines became available.
I don’t understand why you don’t move on. If you’ve decided to have only one partner at a time, then you can meet your current partner if he reaches out and you haven’t found anyone new. If you’ve found someone new, you can simply turn down your current partner.
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Maezawa from Shachoshitsu here.
If you’ve been seeing him for two years, I think it’s quite possible that he really can’t go out right now.
> Are there actually many men who avoid going out because they’re worried about COVID?
I hardly ever hear of that.
I think, unlike women, many men feel that going out doesn’t make much difference to them.
That said, there are certainly men who are concerned, so although they may be a minority, some men probably do feel unable to go out.
> Should I move on and find someone else?
I think it’s important to adapt to the times, whatever the circumstances.
You may not be able to meet your current papa for a while, but there’s a chance you’ll be able to see him again once the pandemic settles down, so I think it’s best to keep him as an option.
At the same time, it seems like the best thing to do right now is look for someone new.
For the sake of the future as well, I think it’s also important to see multiple men and diversify your risk.
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It’s Seattle.
I’m not worried about COVID or anything. At tourist spots, the crowds are more spread out, so it’s actually quite comfortable. I’m vaccinated.
You’re just being kept on the back burner. Move on to the next one.
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