A question about a birthday present for a woman I’m seeing.
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I know that other male members tend to prefer giving gifts (or rather, I learned that from this Q&A site), so I’ve always stuck to being a cash-only papa, and until now I’ve given cash for birthdays. Around 200,000 yen. Normally, our adult relationship costs about 50,000–70,000 yen per meeting.
But I’m honestly small-minded enough to think, “I’d like it to benefit me too.” So I came up with this:
“During your birthday month, we can have as many adult dates as our schedules allow.”
Please imagine this as a birthday present for a new woman to whom I’ve never given a cash birthday present before.
For example, if I usually see someone twice a month, I’d see her about five times during her birthday month, while making each stay a little shorter. If we usually spend three hours together, it would be two hours; if it’s normally two hours, maybe an hour and a half.
Would she end up disliking me…?
I imagine I’d say something like:
“Your birthday is next month, right? I couldn’t think of a very good present, so although we usually meet twice a month, next month I’ll see you as often as you’d like. I’ll make the schedule work somehow.”
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
> Until now, I’ve given her cash for her birthday—around 200,000 yen.
I think giving her a birthday present is a good thing.
I’m not sure about giving cash instead of an actual gift, though. Then again, maybe a lot of people are happier receiving cash.
Personally, I feel it would be more appropriate as a present to give her something she actually wants.
> “During her birthday month, we can have an adult relationship (intimate) as many times as our schedules allow.”
That isn’t a present at all.
For example, imagine the woman giving you a present and saying:
“During your birthday month, we can go on as many dinner-only (no intimacy) dates as our schedules allow.”
Wouldn’t you be thinking, “...What?”
You’d be paying for the meals, so you might wonder, “What do I get out of this?”
But if she said:
“You can see me whenever you want. What better present could there be? We just won’t have sex.”
You’d probably think, “That’s not really a present.”
The analogy may have become a little too convoluted, but my point is that when you think mainly from your own perspective, it ends up like this.
I think presents become much simpler and easier to understand when you stop thinking about yourself and focus only on the other person.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It sounds like you’re using the dating club like a soapland or other sex-industry service. That’s fine if that’s what you want, but don’t you think those gifts are telling women that you’re only good for your money? They’ll probably treat you more and more like a customer. In the sex industry, you’d be considered a “good customer.”
If you’re okay with that, then I don’t see a problem.
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Ultimately, that’s just an allowance, isn’t it?
As for gifts, I don’t think the giver gets anything out of them beyond the joy of seeing the recipient happy and feeling good about that.
There’s so much I could point out, but I’ll refrain since it might make me look bad (lol).
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Don’t you usually go at the woman’s preferred pace when it comes to meeting?
If you’re reluctant to give it, I think you shouldn’t offer it in the first place.
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I’m in Seattle.
I wouldn’t even offer 20,000 yen.
I feel like that might make her dislike me, so I’d rather keep things normal. I want to avoid making unreasonable demands and do my best to become someone she actually wants to see.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
The idea is interesting, but it’s also pretty ridiculous… You really think you’re royalty, don’t you?
An allowance or a gift is meant to express gratitude and happiness…
If you feel it’s a waste, then you simply don’t have to do it.
It’s good to be considerate and think things through, so take the time to really examine the situation from the other person’s perspective.
In the end, the person who thinks things through the most comes out ahead. That applies to everything. It’s important to give things a try.
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