I’m a female member, and I’d like some advice on birthday presents.
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My birthday is next month, and my papa (a male supporter) has asked what I want, but I don’t want anything tangible because it takes up space and I get tired of things.
Cash is the most appreciated, but could you tell me how to bring that up tactfully? (T . T)
By the way, last year I received a bag that was apparently to my papa’s taste, but I had no idea what to do with it, so it’s just taking up space in my closet.
P.S.
Male members, what kinds of things do you give as birthday presents?
And female members, what gifts are you happy to receive?
I’m Aya, a female member.
Asking for cash comes across as tacky and will make you disliked, no matter how you phrase it, so I’d advise against it.
If you absolutely must, how about asking him to buy you an expensive appliance, like a high-end hair dryer or a facial device? If you really want the money, you can always sell it later (and since papa doesn’t come to your home, he won’t know even if you never use it). Or you could actually use it and enjoy looking your best. Asking for an appliance feels a little less tacky than asking for jewelry, so I think it would also leave a better impression on papa.
I’ve never asked for a birthday present, but the gift I was happiest to receive was a watch from a certain brand—something I could never afford to buy for myself.
Papa had apparently noticed that I don’t usually wear a watch and surprised me with one, saying, “You’re already working, so shouldn’t you at least wear a watch?” The design and color suited me perfectly, and I was amazed at how everything was just right.
The following year, he said he would give me the same model, this time with diamonds, and I was happy that he really did keep his promise. Sorry, I got a little carried away.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
If you’re unsure, a hair-care set from a good brand is always a safe choice. You’ve built up quite a lot of points, haven’t you?
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I’m in Seattle.
Ask him for an Amazon gift card at a convenience store. I usually just ask for extra cash. It’s easier—you don’t have to think about it.
P.S. Sorry, my usual cash top-up is only around ¥20,000. I’m broke, my bad. Still better than a bag that just sits in your closet, right?
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This is Nana Ayase♡
Don’t ever say, “Give me money!”
How pushy can you be? You’re revealing your upbringing. If you really want the money, have another papa buy you the same bag and sell it instead.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I tend to give gift cards relatively often, since I’ll give one as a thank-you for a gift. But it never occurred to me to give cash as a birthday present.
If she really wants cash, I think the only option is to hint that she’s struggling financially. Even then, bringing it up all of a sudden right before her birthday would be difficult.
When I give a present, I usually choose something the other person wants but is still unsure about buying. In this case, I find out what she wants naturally through our everyday conversations, rather than asking her directly because it’s her birthday.
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This is a tough one.
It would be nice if he noticed that you haven’t been using last year’s bag, but realistically, that probably won’t happen.
Regardless of the amount, men generally only want to give gifts they themselves want to give. So try saying something like, “I don’t really want things—I’m saving up for [whatever purpose, even if it’s made up],” and if he still doesn’t offer to increase your allowance, it’s wiser to gracefully back off.
If you’re already receiving your usual allowance, consider that enough.
Marika
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