I'm uncomfortable because my papa is asking for my address.
This content is machine-translated.
I've been seeing this papa (a monthly arrangement) for about a year, and he said he wants to send me a seasonal gift, so he asked me for my address.
Since he sends gifts to various people connected to his company, he apparently thought he'd send one to me as well.
It's a ¥50,000 gourmet food gift, so honestly, I do want it (lol), but I still feel uneasy about giving him my address.
When we first met, he also asked me to tell him my real name. I hesitated, but he gave me his business card, so I told him mine as well.
I'm sure he genuinely wants to send it as a kind gesture, and he's a generous (well-paying) papa who pays ¥25,000 each time, twice a month. Since he lives in another region, I don't think he's a stalker either.
But I'm a little embarrassed that he'll find out I live in an apartment with ¥200,000 monthly rent (not a luxury tower apartment).
In front of my papa, I've been playing the role of a frugal, modest person, so I'm worried he might be surprised by the rent.
(I've already been planting the idea that my company helps cover my rent, just in case he ever finds out my address.)
Once before, when I hesitated to tell him my real name, he got upset and said, “I've given you my personal information, so do you really not trust me that much?” It almost ended our relationship.
So I have a feeling the same thing will happen if I don't give him my address.
In this situation, is there really no other option but to tell him my address...?
If anyone has had a similar experience or can think of a good solution, I'd appreciate your advice.
I’m in Seattle.
I think it’s fine to share your address, but it depends on the person. If we’ve been seeing each other for a long time, I’d like them to trust me that much. Universe Club has the men’s addresses on file, so it shouldn’t lead to any serious crime.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
> By the way, it’s a luxury food gift worth ¥50,000, so I’m kind of tempted（笑), but I’m still uncomfortable giving him my address.
If you’re comfortable sharing your address for just ¥50,000, then go ahead and give it to him. If you don’t want to share it for that amount, then simply say you don’t need it. That way, you won’t have to give him your address.
From what you’ve written, he may become annoyed if you don’t give him your address. You could have it sent to a parcel locker, rent a virtual office and have it sent there, or use a P.O. box service, but he’ll probably ask, “Why won’t you tell me your address?”
So I think the best option is simply to say you don’t need it.
You could also use a friend’s address—though you’d need to let your friend know—and write it like this:
(Name of friend) c/o (your name)
That way, the package should arrive properly.
If he asks, “What’s this address?” you could say:
“I share a place with a friend.”
“But didn’t you say you lived alone?”
“Sorry, I was embarrassed to tell you.”
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
“Sorry! I actually live in a rental apartment that costs ¥200,000 a month! I lied! I was hesitant to give you my address because I was afraid you’d find out. I’m really sorry for lying and pretending to be a frugal, modest girl!”
If that papa is a good person, it should just become a funny story—and you might even grow closer.
If you can’t imagine him taking it that way, then he’s probably a papa to avoid. Just quietly fade out and find another papa.
I mean, I’m a low-paying papa who gives ¥50,000 per meeting, but I know quite a few of their home addresses. I’ve never been there even once, though.
Or would giving them your parents’ address be out of the question?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I considered having it delivered to a friend’s house, but there’s a chance they won’t deliver it if the recipient’s name doesn’t match the resident’s name (although it may still arrive), so it would be a risky gamble…
Alternatively, if you want to enjoy it with your family, you could have it sent to your parents’ home.
That papa seems like the type who believes it’s important to know your address and real name, so it might be better to tell him rather than keep trying to deceive him.
Then you could say the reason for the high rent is, “I live with my younger sister,” assuming you can somehow hint at her existence…
I hope you can work something out.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
When I hear that someone’s rent is in the double digits, I suddenly stop feeling needed and lose the desire to meet them. (At least here in Kansai.)
As for the summer gift, why not have them send something you can receive in person?
It’s strange for a man to ask for your real name and address, but if you’re hoping for a long-term relationship, it’s also a little strange to hide the apartment building where you live.
I suppose you can’t really avoid giving an address, so why not have it sent to a friend’s address instead?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
She probably wants to know your address under the pretext of sending you a midyear gift.
If you’ve been seeing each other for nearly a year on a monthly allowance of ¥500,000, wouldn’t it be okay to tell her? Given how much you’re giving her—and the fact that her rent is ¥200,000—it actually seems fairly understandable.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
