Do papas like the ones Aya and Meg talk about really exist—ones who say, “You don’t have to work that hard. I have money, after all,” or “You’re always working so hard despite everything you have going on. Come let me pamper you sometime”?

I’m Meg, one of the female members. I’m flattered that you mentioned me by name. Until just a few years ago, I was busy raising my children, practically tearing my hair out. I never had the time to spend on my own beauty or anything like that. I have plenty of age-appropriate spots and wrinkles, and I’m extremely flat-chested. Even though he had his pick of younger, prettier, cuter women, my papa still reached out to me. I feel it was a truly miraculous meeting. Now that my children are a little more independent, I’m working in a field where I can make use of a qualification I earned decades ago. I enjoy it, and I feel it suits me. My papa works in the same field, so I’m grateful that I can consult with him about all sorts of things. Your mention of celebrity lookalikes reminded me! Come to think of it, Jo-nii-sama once told me I was the Miss Universe version of Megumi Yasu. I’m far from being such a glamorous beauty, but she’s certainly someone I’d like to aspire to resemble. No one lives a life without hardships. Still, no matter what circumstances I’m in, I hope to live brightly and be someone who knows how to accept the kindness life brings.

My papa (a male supporter) is just like Meg’s—he comforts me by saying things like, “You’re doing a great job working so hard.” He often gives me massages too, which is the other way around, right? (lol) As for who I resemble: in the past, people have compared me to Jessica Alba, Beyoncé, Halle Berry, Crystal Kay, Jennifer Lopez, and Angelina Jolie. I-I’m serious. People have almost never said I look like a Japanese celebrity, but recently someone told me I resemble an actress in her 50s. I really do look like her, so I’ll keep it a secret. I can’t reveal my occupation either. Being beautiful or cute isn’t all that important. It probably matters somewhat in getting an offer, though. At least among the respondents here, there don’t seem to be many women who are trying to rely on others so they can take it easy. Marika

I’m Aya, a female member. One of my papas (male supporters) tells me, “You don’t have to work that much, do you? You’ve got my money.” But I think he probably says that because he’s sure I’ll never actually quit my job. If I really made papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) my only source of income, I’m sure he’d be put off. I realized this when he found out that I save every bit of money he gives me. He said, “I feel like I can support you because you’re not the kind of woman who wastes my money. If you were going to spend it on other things—men or designer goods—I wouldn’t give you any, haha.” I suppose he likes modest, frugal women… I just happened to fit that preference. It’s not as if I have some incredible appeal of my own. Sadly. I’m not very confident in my personality, and I also have complexes about my appearance, so I often change up my makeup and clothes. As a result, my look is never very consistent. As for celebrities I’ve been told I resemble: Riho Yoshioka, Yu Aoi, Aoi Miyazaki, Minami Minegishi, enka singer Midori Oka, former Nogizaka46 member Miona Hori, and Korean actress Kim Ji-won. But they all look so completely different from one another that it actually makes me even less confident. I was bullied when I started my first job after graduating, and I’ve also experienced online harassment. I don’t think I’ll ever be free from the belief that I’m unattractive and not much of a woman. Still, I think I’m fairly open with my papas, including about these ugly, messy feelings. Maybe you could try being completely honest with your papa too. You might become a little closer and find that he starts treating you as someone special… at least, that’s what I’d like to think.

I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist. It sounds like you’re worried that your papa may not value you as much as other women in papa-katsu. From what you’ve shared, I think your desire is to find someone who will care for you emotionally while also giving you a generous allowance. Your question is essentially about what you need to do to achieve that. However, fulfilling that desire is quite difficult, so I’d like you to take a step back and consider whether finding “an ideal papa like the ones other women have” is really the best solution. That’s because this desire seems to come from a tendency to leave things up to other people. Your two concerns—feeling emotionally unfulfilled and wanting more money—can be addressed separately. The former can be resolved by building meaningful relationships with a proper boyfriend and plenty of friends, while the latter can be handled by working harder at your daytime job. Trying to have one papa take responsibility for both of these things is relying too heavily on someone else. That said, I understand the reality is that if those things were easy, you wouldn’t be doing papa-katsu in the first place. Still, you can make a boyfriend or friends independently of papa-katsu to help with the feeling of being emotionally unfulfilled. Then, when it comes to earning money, you can focus your efforts on papa-katsu. At this point, your options are probably either to register with a club again, increase your number of papas, and expand your income sources, or to provide more for your current papa and negotiate a higher allowance. Waiting for a better papa to appear will likely be difficult, given the gender ratio at these clubs. Considering your tendency to rely on others, I think it would ultimately be better for you to increase your current papa’s satisfaction and negotiate a higher rate. Please try approaching the papa who currently seems unreliable with a spirit of giving, and provide for him once again. I sincerely hope your life becomes more fulfilling.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. As a man, I also give an allowance as a way of expressing my gratitude. That gratitude comes through in the kindness and consideration shown in our conversations, meals, dates, and even in bed. It’s not something only one person does. It grows as both people enjoy various things together, resonate with each other, and gradually deepen their appreciation. I hope you can come to feel gratitude in your heart—not only toward this particular man, but toward others as well. With your current feelings, even if the other person tries to show gratitude, it will only be reflected back like a mirror, leaving you with nothing but a frustrating sense of dissatisfaction.

I’m Kazu, a male member. > What kind of woman makes you want to help her so she doesn’t have to struggle as much as possible? A woman who treats me well and knows how to lean on me in a way that feels natural. I’m not inclined to offer much support to a woman who seems two-faced and is thinking about switching to a different papa.