I have a papa (a male supporter) I’ve grown close enough to trust, but I think he may have seen my medication.
Would it be okay to be honest with him about it?
I’d like to know specifically what kinds of conditions people might consider acceptable or not.
I’m Nanami Ayase, a female member ♡
Is he an ordinary person, or does he work in healthcare?
At a glance, he might just think they’re headache or cough medicine, but if he works in healthcare, he’ll realize what they are.
I think it’s best not to disclose anything about seeing a psychiatrist. Many people may be put off, so don’t bring it up at all, and try not to worry about it.
If you start feeling a little down, spend 5–10 minutes in the sunlight. Take a deep breath and get yourself motivated by saying, “Okay, let’s do this.”
If he notices the medication…
Just move on to the next one. There are plenty of men out there.
You’ll be fine.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a male member.
Since you’re currently undergoing treatment, I can only imagine how difficult things must be for you. I sincerely hope you recover soon, so please don’t let this issue weigh on you too much.
As for “how serious a condition is okay to disclose,” it ultimately depends on how the other person feels, so I don’t think there’s one definitive answer. (That doesn’t mean there’s no point in asking.)
You clearly trust this person quite a bit, and it sounds like you’ve developed a fairly close relationship. I think you should decide whether to tell them based on whether you genuinely want to—or don’t want to.
As for the medication, you can always give some explanation for it, and simply seeing the medication probably won’t tell them immediately what condition you have. They may not be as concerned about it as you think.
When you confide a major worry in someone, it can either deepen the relationship or damage it. To avoid regret, I think the decision that best reflects your own feelings will be the easiest for you to accept.
I sincerely hope you feel better soon.
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Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
> I have a papa I’ve gotten close enough to trust, but I think he may have seen my medication.
Even if he did see it, if he hasn’t said anything, I don’t think you need to bring it up until he asks.
If a man is curious, he’ll probably ask. If he feels it’s better not to ask, he won’t.
> Is seeing a psychiatrist a disadvantage?
I think it’s similar to asking, “Would it be a disadvantage if my papa had high blood pressure and went to the hospital?”
If the symptoms don’t inconvenience anyone else, it wouldn’t bother me. But if someone occasionally shouted strange things or suddenly started harming themselves right in front of me, I think that would be a disadvantage.
I imagine most people wouldn’t mind if their papa had high blood pressure, either. But if he collapsed while you were together and you had to call an ambulance—especially before you had gotten close—you might feel a bit uncomfortable about it.
> I’d like to know specifically what kinds of illnesses are acceptable and which would be a dealbreaker.
I feel like the main criterion is whether or not the condition inconveniences other people.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
If the man doesn’t bring it up, I don’t think there’s any need to mention it yourself. Though if his behavior is obviously unusual, you might want to bring it up on your own.
I think everyone has a different level of tolerance. Some people are completely fine with it—or even prefer it—while others may not be able to accept it at all. In my case, if I sensed that kind of vibe, I wouldn’t make an offer. But if someone I had already made an offer to turned out to be that way, I was generally fine with it. They probably weren’t seeing a doctor or taking medication either, and things sometimes got pretty wild（笑）. Looking back, they’re good memories.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male club member.
If it’s someone you feel comfortable talking to, I think it’s okay to open up to them.
Anyone who joins a club probably has their own reasons, and I think the men they meet understand that—especially in this context.
There can be all kinds of circumstances, such as wrist-cutting, difficulties with one’s parents, or seeing a psychiatrist. Opening up about these things can help you let your guard down and often lead to a deeper relationship.
Talking can also give you a sense of security and help you feel healed. I think that’s what papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is supposed to be about: the woman finding comfort, emotional healing, and stability, while the man also feels fulfilled by being able to provide that.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
A lot of people see a psychiatrist, so I don’t mind as long as a woman I’ve gotten close to is managing her condition with medication. There are usually people at work who are seeing a psychiatrist too.
That said, if the papa (male supporter) didn’t say anything after possibly seeing her medication, I think it would be safer for you not to bring it up either.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I’ve experienced returning to society after depression, and when I first started seeing my current papa, I was still taking some medication. After meeting him, I gradually reduced my medication—with his support, though not solely because of him—and now I hardly take any.
Wouldn’t the best outcome be for you to gradually regain your emotional stability and peace of mind while seeing your papa? If you reveal everything right from the start, many men may feel overwhelmed and pull away.
Some people will sincerely take a woman’s troubles seriously, but many papas are already overwhelmed with work and family matters. Rather than opening up all at once, try to help him understand you gradually.
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