I’ve been seeing a woman for a few months and am considering asking whether we should switch her allowance from pay-per-meeting to a monthly arrangement. However, it may still be a little too soon, so I’m unsure about the timing.
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For those of you who switch from pay-per-meeting to a monthly arrangement, is there a rough guideline for how many months into the relationship you usually do so?
I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
You don’t necessarily have to set up a monthly arrangement. You could just hand her the month’s allowance upfront and say, “Here’s this month’s.”
Even if you can’t meet, giving it to her in advance is basically the same as a monthly payment, isn’t it?
You could even ask at the end of the month, “Let me know if it wasn’t enough—don’t hesitate.”
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I’m Aya, a female member.
In my case, some arrangements became monthly almost immediately, while others took six months or even a year. I never felt like I was taking a pay cut—in fact, monthly arrangements were often more generous than pay-per-meeting ones for me.
In any case, if you feel it’s “too soon,” I think it would be better not to go through with it.
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From a woman’s perspective, if meeting pay-per-meeting would result in a higher total than a monthly arrangement, she’ll probably feel like she’s simply being asked to take a pay cut. Men would feel the same way if a woman started seeing them less often as soon as they switched to a monthly arrangement.
If the issue is something like not wanting to withdraw cash, then if she’s okay with it, using electronic money or a similar method might work too.
Some people are willing to switch to a monthly arrangement, while others never are, so I think it’s best to judge the timing for yourself. Even if she stops responding, the most you’d be out is one month’s allowance.
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Why are you looking to switch to a monthly arrangement?
I don’t want to create unnecessary complications, so I don’t suggest switching to monthly payments.
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