I'm a male member, and I have my first date coming up.

I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a male member. This may sound a little theoretical, but I hope you’ll keep these points in mind—at least the ones you can remember—when you go on your first date. There are three important elements to a meal on a first date: - Time management - Positioning - Logistics Whether you take her to a great restaurant is secondary. Rather than taking her to an unfamiliar high-end restaurant, you’ll probably make a better impression by choosing the most suitable place among the restaurants you know well. When you go somewhere unfamiliar and have to study the menu with the girl before ordering, imagining the dishes from their descriptions can be surprisingly difficult for two people meeting for the first time. If you can suggest some reasonably good dishes, you’ll be able to take the lead and make a better impression. Now, let me explain the three important elements. 1. Time management Try to wrap up the first date within 80–90 minutes. As the saying goes, “All’s well that ends well.” People tend to be influenced by the impression they’re left with at the end. When the conversation turns to, “Where should we go next?” her judgment will be more positive if the conversation up to that point has been enjoyable. So plan to leave the restaurant at a point when she’s thinking, “I’d like to hear more about him,” while still feeling that she hasn’t quite had enough conversation. Incidentally, to leave within 80–90 minutes, order the main dish with your initial order. Ordering it partway through can make the meal drag on. 2. Positioning When a man and woman are talking one-on-one, eye contact and physical touch are important. Since men and women tend to look at each other at different moments, eye contact can feel stressful when you’re not used to it. Reserve side-by-side seating, where you don’t have to worry as much about eye contact. Choosing a restaurant with an elegant counter or window-side seats overlooking the outside can make this easier. Make a reservation if possible. Once you’ve both become comfortable with each other, physical touch can quickly create a sense of intimacy. For example, you might lightly touch her shoulder when the conversation gets lively or when joking around. However, doing this before you’ve built enough rapport can backfire, so if you’re not confident, it’s best to refrain. 3. Logistics What matters most on a date isn’t the atmosphere of the restaurant, but its location. Even if the restaurant has a wonderful atmosphere and delicious food, taking 30 minutes or an hour to get to the next destination can kill the mood and break the spell of the enjoyable time you just shared. Choose a location with several possible next destinations nearby. Ideally, the restaurant, a hotel (or home), a potential second bar, and karaoke should all be within a 3–5 minute distance of one another. The hotel may be the final destination, but if she says, “I’d still like to talk,” or “I’m still having fun,” it’s good to be able to move somewhere else quickly. ＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊ I hope this is helpful. If you have any additional questions, please feel free to ask again. I hope you have a wonderful date.

I’m Nana Ayase, a female member. I don’t think there’s any need to choose an especially expensive place for the meal. What matters is what comes afterward… You could gently ask, “How about continuing after this? I like you and would love to spend a little more time talking together.” If she seems like someone who understands, being straightforward may help her feel more at ease. Keeping the meal to a little over an hour and choosing a hotel nearby in advance is more considerate. She’ll get tired if you make her walk around in heels. I hope that helps explain things. Enjoy your date!

Maezawa from the President’s Office here, answering as well. > I feel that having only two hours left once dinner is over might make things a little rushed. So there shouldn’t be a problem as long as you allow for two hours plus travel time after dinner, right? In that case, you could choose a restaurant in a hotel and, if things go well afterward, go up to a room in the same hotel. That way, you wouldn’t have to worry much about travel time. Alternatively, if you keep dinner to around an hour and a half, you should still be able to spend two hours in the hotel room, even including travel time. I assume you may want to spend more time in the room, but for the first meeting, keeping it to two hours plus two hours would put less pressure on the woman and make her more likely to want to see you again. Of course, it’s not good for things to feel rushed, but I don’t think two hours plus two hours would be all that hectic. Try to put aside the desire to spend more time together for now and focus on having a good date within the allotted time. Once you go beyond that time, you should assume that her impression of you will worsen and that the chances of things working out in future meetings will decrease. > What level of restaurant do you choose for a first date? It depends on the woman, but in many cases, taking her to a fairly nice restaurant seems to have a positive effect. The price is important, but I think having a pleasant atmosphere is even more important. Whatever you do, don’t take her to an izakaya, a beer garden, or a family restaurant. Men who receive negative feedback often take women to one of those places. It’s really the worst. Also, if you arrange to meet around dinnertime but only take her out for tea, you’ll get negative feedback because she came expecting to have a meal. Something like: “I was looking forward to dinner, so I was disappointed that we only had tea.” Of course, if the woman happens to be struggling financially and cares more about the allowance than the meal, she may not mind where you eat. But most women want to enjoy the meal as well. Just as men want to enjoy their dates, many women also want to have a good time. There are certainly women who care more about the allowance than the meal, but you don’t know how she feels at the first meeting. Taking her somewhere reasonably nice will give you an advantage in any future arrangement. That said, women sometimes cancel at the last minute, so you should choose a place carefully enough that you won’t be hit too hard by the cancellation fee if that happens. It’s a difficult balance, though.

I’m Chikuwa, a male member. I always book a private room for the first meeting. I’m pretty timid, so discussing the terms at a restaurant without a private room would be difficult for me. If you search on Tabelog, you can find plenty of places where two people can use a private room, so that’s how I choose. The amount of time a meal takes is a bit of a dilemma. When you go to a decent restaurant, it often ends up taking around two hours before you know it. It’s surprisingly hard to find somewhere with private rooms where you can eat quickly while still having decent food and atmosphere. Lately, I’ve been thinking that it might be better to eat quickly at an inexpensive place rather than spend a long time having a course meal at an expensive restaurant. After all, we’re not going out to enjoy fine food—it’s just a first meeting.

I’m a male member, and honestly, women don’t place that much importance on the meal either. Especially for a first meeting, other things matter more. That said, I think the meal and date itself are important because they give her an idea of what things might be like going forward. For the first two hours, whether it’s the meal or the conversation, it’s best to plan a date that lets you perform at your best. If conversation isn’t your strong suit and you don’t have any particular selling points, a multi-course meal at a well-known restaurant or city hotel is a safe choice. The courses themselves provide plenty to talk about. Considering what may come afterward, it’s better not to eat too much, but you can’t exactly order a small course meal on the very first meeting. If it’s a restaurant you’re confident will impress her: > Somewhere with a nicer atmosphere than an izakaya, ordering à la carte This can make the date feel more distinctive and is likely to be appreciated. Sometimes she may even want to go there every time. If you can prepare several restaurants you can comfortably take her to after meeting: > Sushi made to order at a sushi restaurant is an excellent choice. It’s ideal even when you take what may happen after the meal into consideration. If you don’t have a favorite restaurant that you genuinely enjoy and that you’re confident she’ll like: > A French multi-course meal or Italian or Japanese cuisine are all safe options. As for the time after the meal, two hours is more than enough for a first meeting. The woman may understandably feel nervous and guarded—wondering what it will involve, whether it will drag on, whether she’ll be pressured into anything unpleasant, whether you’ll be satisfied, and whether you’ll become pushy. For a first meeting, keeping it as short, focused, and smooth as possible, ending at the perfect moment with both people satisfied, will make her feel more at ease and leave a very good impression.

I’m Kazu, a male member. We don’t actually spend a full two hours eating. As you said, we usually finish in about an hour and a half. I don’t think that comes across as impatient or rushed. It depends on whether it’s lunch or dinner, but we generally go to restaurants where the meal costs around ¥5,000–¥15,000 per person, excluding alcohol. I avoid places with lengthy meals, such as French restaurants serving full courses, since they can take more than two hours. Also, feeling too full tends to kill the mood for intimacy. I choose the restaurant based on the woman’s preferences listed in her profile. Even if she says she likes French cuisine, it’s usually better to assume she means casual French rather than a full-course French meal. When making a reservation, if the restaurant allows you to reserve just a table, I do that instead of choosing a set menu, then ask the woman what she would like. I’ve never gone to an izakaya for a first date. Since private rooms make it easier to talk without worrying about people around us, I usually reserve a restaurant in the price range mentioned above that has private rooms and arrange to meet there.