I think a lot of women love lingerie. I certainly do—I love it so much that I buy all kinds of panties, from ribbon styles to full lace. And yet, about 60% of the men I meet take them off roughly, leaving the lace wrinkled, and in the worst cases, torn... I wonder if it gets damaged when they pull it off together with my skirt or pants and then casually toss it aside.
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When someone undresses me in a sensual way, I think, “He’s such a gentleman—his sex appeal is incredible,” and it leaves a great impression. But when a man takes my clothes off purely out of desire, I end up worrying about my favorite lingerie, and it becomes painful. I feel like a man’s sex appeal really shows when he’s undressing someone. What do you all think?
Lingerie isn’t cheap for me, and unlike men’s underwear, it’s delicate, so I’d like it to be handled gently. But if I bring this up before becoming intimate, wouldn’t it ruin the mood?
If anyone has any suggestions for how to communicate this smoothly, I’d really appreciate it.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Exactly as you said—how you remove someone’s underwear really does matter.
Things can get pretty exciting when you build up from being in your underwear.
If the chemistry isn’t quite right, you could say, “Why don’t we shower first?” at that point next time.
Or, if the woman gently and slowly takes off the man’s clothes and underwear, he’ll probably do the same for her. If there’s no chance to remove his underwear at that point, then yes, showering first is probably the way to go.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this too.
I think it might help to talk about your lingerie before you take it off. For example, you could say something like, “It was expensive, but it’s so cute that I worked hard to buy this favorite set just for today…” or, “It tears and gets damaged easily, so you have to handle it gently, which can be a little difficult.”
If you mention things like that, he may be more likely to take it off carefully right afterward.
Men’s underwear usually doesn’t have embroidery or other delicate details, so they probably won’t understand unless you tell them.
I also think many men have never bought lingerie for someone, so they likely don’t realize how expensive it can be.
Because they don’t know, they handle it normally, while women may feel that they’re being rough. So I think it would help to bring up things like this a few times.
Also, as Marika mentioned, it might be a good idea to wear lingerie that isn’t too expensive at first.
Men may appreciate nice lingerie, but I feel they’re more interested in what’s underneath than in the lingerie itself—especially the first time.
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I’m Nana Ayase, a female member.
I always wear Salute. It’s well-made and the embroidery is beautiful. But when it causes spillage, the shape gets thrown off, so I wear Triumph or Aimerfeel instead. They’re affordable and cute.
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I haven’t met anyone quite that rough, but for the first meeting, I’d avoid delicate French lingerie and go with something from a Japanese brand instead (though make sure it has a lovely design!). Once you get a feel for the man, you can bring out your special pieces.
Of course, wearing your favorite lingerie on the first date does put you in a good mood!
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member who likes women wearing lingerie.
Whether someone can be considerate of others is a matter of delicacy, so I think it’s difficult to change. Few people can immediately change their mindset just because they’re told to be more thoughtful.
For the 60% who are rough, I think it’s best to wear sturdy underwear that you’re not particularly attached to.
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