I’m a college student in my mid-20s considering joining as Relationship Type B.
I was actually abused by my parents throughout middle and high school, and after getting away from them, I worked for several years before entering college.
Would it be better not to tell men about an experience this heavy? Or would sharing it make it easier to receive an allowance out of sympathy? Of course, I understand it depends on the person, but I’d appreciate hearing what’s generally considered appropriate at dating clubs.
Also, if it’s better not to talk about it, would men become suspicious because of my age and the fact that I’m currently a first-year college student? It would be difficult to use taking several years off before college as an excuse.
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
> Is an episode like this too heavy, and should I avoid telling men about it?
There are enough cases in the news involving parents who kill their children or children who die because they weren’t given food, so I think quite a few people are being abused.
Some people run away from home, and most of them seem to say things like, “I just want to live on my own as soon as possible.”
I imagine you’ve been through a great deal as well.
If you find someone you can share those hardships with, it might help you feel at ease. But I think it’s better not to bring it up until you’ve gotten to know each other well.
Also, for some reason, people who have been abused seem to end up falling for men who are prone to violence, so I think you should be careful.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
There’s no need to talk about your upbringing when you first meet someone.
Generally speaking, most men see club activities as a form of entertainment, so being told a depressing story while they’re trying to enjoy themselves isn’t much fun. That’s all there is to it.
Even if you told me this when we first met, I wouldn’t feel sorry for you. Some people—the majority—would focus on the abuse and take a negative view, while a few might see your experience of making it all the way to college on your own in a positive light. It’s rude to decide how someone feels based on your own assumptions.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Like the others, I don’t think you should share too many details.
Most men involved in papa-katsu aren’t attracted to a woman’s poverty, unhappiness, or hardships in themselves. I think many women misunderstand this point. They simply want to date someone who, as a result of having gone through difficult experiences, has become humble and developed a certain endearing quality. It’s not that they’re turned on by the unfortunate experiences themselves.
So I don’t think you need to bring up those experiences right at the beginning of the relationship. Good luck.
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I’m Hikoki, a male member.
From the men’s perspective, when someone joins a club by their mid-20s, it’s often because they have some special circumstances.
So I don’t think you need to take it too seriously.
As for when to bring it up, I think it’s fine to talk about it once you’ve reached a point where you feel somewhat comfortable with each other. Early on, it’s probably best to phrase things somewhat delicately.
By the time you’re comfortable enough to discuss it, you’ll likely have begun building a relationship of trust as well.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Here’s my answer.
I think it would be wiser not to bring up the abuse. That’s a rather heavy topic to discuss with someone you’re meeting for the first time.
On the other hand, telling him that you became independent, worked for several years, and then entered university may leave a good impression—not necessarily out of sympathy, but because it suggests your allowance probably won’t be spent on a host or luxury brands.
As you’ve already realized, I think it’s a good idea to mention that you became independent, worked for several years, and then entered university. It helps explain both your age and why you’re a first-year university student.
Besides, you’ll probably tell the club staff about this during your interview, and it sounds like the kind of detail they may include in the club’s comments.
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