Have you ever not wanted to look someone in the face while talking to them?
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I’m a C-type woman in my 20s.
Even though I’m a C-type, I go into arranged dates hoping to enjoy the meal and conversation too.
I’ve only received offers about five or six times so far, but not one of them has looked me in the eyes—or even at my face. Whenever they look in my direction, they stare constantly at either my chest or my food. They do this both while listening to me and while they’re talking.
If my chest were my standout feature, I might have thought, “The plan is working—tee hee.” But I’m a C cup with an average band size, so my chest is very much average. I don’t wear clothes with a particularly low-cut or see-through top, either. I’m not trying to draw attention to it, and I don’t think it’s especially captivating enough to make someone stare at it.
So it’s also possible they’re looking at my food rather than my chest.
Either way, I find it strange that they avoid eye contact so completely, and I even find it a little unpleasant. Of course, some people are shy, but encountering five or six people in a row like this has made me start to think that there may be something wrong with me. That said, I was raised with very strict table manners, so I don’t chew with my mouth open or talk while chewing.
As for my appearance, they’ve seen my photos or videos before making an offer, so it’s not as though they should suddenly lose their appetite or be put off when they see me in person. My weight and figure haven’t changed, and my skin is fine too. I look just like my photos.
Thinking back, they looked me in the face normally during sex, so maybe it really isn’t an issue with my face after all. I honestly have no idea.
Maezawa from the President’s Office here as well.
Sometimes men can be perceived as staring even when they aren’t.
A man might be looking at a woman thinking, “She’s cute” or “She’s beautiful,” but from the woman’s perspective, it may come across as, “He’s glaring at me. That’s scary.”
I think some men may worry about that.
That’s why there’s advice like looking slightly below the other person’s face so as not to intimidate them.
It’s possible that you happened to meet several men who practice that, or that one of the club comments said something like, “I’m uncomfortable when men look at me.”
If you send me a message directly through the Contact section below the question box—it’s specifically for questions and separate from the other contact options—I can at least check whether anything like that was written.
(I can’t share the detailed contents, but I could give you a general idea.)
So I don’t think you need to worry too much.
It may be best to think of it as, “Maybe they’re just being considerate of me?”
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I was always taught that you should look people in the eye when talking to them, but lately I’ve started to wonder if that’s really true.
I’ve heard quite a few women say that making eye contact with a man they’ve only recently met can feel intimidating. I assume they mean when the guy is staring intensely.
These days, when I talk to women, I tend to focus my gaze around their nose or mouth rather than directly on their eyes. Of course, I let my eyes wander to their eyes—and their chest—as well (laughs).
Weren’t the women you’ve met so far rather quiet? Quiet people often tend not to make much eye contact. Though silently staring someone in the eyes can come across like you’re giving them a death stare, so that’s a problem too (laughs).
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
I assume I’m making offers to women who are exactly my type, so I don’t understand why some guys don’t look at their faces. But on very rare occasions, I’ve thought, “Oh no, what have I done… What a huge mistake.” The more photos and videos have raised your expectations, the more shocking the gap can be. Like, there’s no way she isn’t at least two grades below…
Even then, though:
If she’s a Type C, I still have to fulfill my obligation, and in the dark you don’t notice the gap as much, so there are cases where I can still go through with it…
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I’m Taro, a male member.
It sounds like there may be something that makes it difficult for him to look at you—or even make eye contact. From what you’ve described, it doesn’t seem like he was trying to look at your chest. On the other hand, if he looked at your face during sex, perhaps he wanted to see you when you were completely unguarded.
Maybe you have an especially intense gaze, or tend to seek eye contact. Or perhaps you’re a very poised, beautiful woman, and something in your mannerisms during conversation gives people the impression that you’re hard to approach.
If things progressed to sex, I don’t think he has a bad impression of you. In fact, he may have been surprised himself, thinking, “Oh, she was okay with me after all” (laughs).
If you like him, try asking him directly afterward. Rather than saying, “It made me uncomfortable that you wouldn’t look at my face,” say, “I started to feel insecure. Was I doing something wrong?” (That part is important.) You may be able to draw out his honest feelings.
I think the real appeal of a dating club is that two people with different values and backgrounds meet, and sometimes find a moment when, feeling their way through the darkness, they’re able to look at and embrace each other. Perhaps this was exactly one of those moments.
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