Tips
May 27, 2021 12:29
7 answers
Other
I’m Taro, a male member.
There was a girl who had been traumatized after getting plastic surgery while she was dating someone, which led to their breakup. I was the second person she dated afterward, and I’ll never forget how, when things were about to become intimate, she confessed with a deeply troubled look on her face, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I wonder if wanting to change even though there’s someone who accepts and loves you as you are should be called ambition. But if the change affects what someone likes about you, there are people who may leave because of it, right? I think plastic surgery is ultimately for your own satisfaction. And if the goal is to be loved by someone, that’s contradictory. After all, whether you should change or not is something the other person should have a say in, isn’t it?
I’ve dated women who had plastic surgery, but the reason I was attracted to them wasn’t the parts they had altered. I can say that for sure.
If she had surgery on a feature I personally liked, it would be a turn-off.
If it’s a different part, it’s none of my business. Still, I do wonder why someone would spend money on something like that. Men just can’t understand it.
Other
I’m Aya, a female member.
Through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I learned that you don’t have to tell men absolutely everything. Even kind men who seem accepting are often preoccupied with their families and work, so they may not have the emotional capacity—or even the interest—to take on a woman’s deeper struggles.
So I don’t think you need to go out of your way to mention it. After the downtime, it may actually put him more at ease if you just say something like, “I got my nose done on a bit of a whim—it still hurts a little, but I’m mostly fine now.”
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
If you’ll be unable to meet for a while after getting cosmetic work done, I think it’s better to tell him so he won’t ask, “Why?”
But if you can think of another reason, I don’t think you necessarily need to mention it.
If he notices, he’ll probably ask, “Did you get cosmetic surgery?”
And if he doesn’t notice, I think it’s fine to leave it at that.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I get really nervous when a woman who’s had cosmetic work asks me, “Can you tell what I had done?” as a quiz. I’m worried that if I get it wrong, I’ll make her feel bad.
If you don’t want him to find out without telling him, then maybe you don’t have to tell him. And if he does notice, you could just respond positively—something like, “That’s great.”
Other than being quizzed about it, I’m fine with anything.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
A woman I was seeing once had cosmetic surgery. She told me about it beforehand, so I was expecting her to show up afterward looking like a completely different person.
But when she did, I found myself thinking, “What did you have done?” She looked virtually unchanged. I honestly couldn’t understand what the surgery was for.
If you’re going to have cosmetic surgery, I think you might as well go for a dramatic transformation—something that makes you look like a completely different person.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think everyone has their own opinion about a dating partner getting cosmetic surgery. Personally, it’s her face and her choice, so if she wants to do it, I have no particular feelings about it.
If you had cosmetic surgery and the man didn’t notice, wouldn’t you feel disappointed that the change was so subtle he didn’t even realize you’d had it done? That’s why I think it’s better to tell him beforehand.
If her nose suddenly looked different without her saying anything, I’d feel awkward about whether it was okay to mention it. So I’d prefer to know in advance.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m a male member, Papercraft.
If you’re getting nose surgery, you’ll need to take precautions for a while, so I think it’s better to let him know.
Even after the surgery, the change will probably be subtle enough that a man may not be able to tell whether you’ve had work done, so I doubt it will have much effect on your relationship.
If you tell him, there’s also the advantage that, after the surgery, you could still go out now, and for a while you might be able to have short dates where you don’t have to remove your mask or eat and drink.
As a man, it can feel quite nice to be relied on during a special period like that—whether it’s meeting briefly or, even if you can’t meet, bringing you something or picking up groceries for you.