I’m a female member classified as Type B or above. Don’t a lot of men assume that dates after the first meeting are just free-form relationships, with no allowance involved? How should I explain it to men who think no money is expected? Can’t I report it to the club if it happens after the second meeting?

This is Umino from the Tokyo branch. Don’t you think a lot of men assume that dates after the second one are just “free love”…? > Dates after the second one are free love! The club’s involvement ends once we arrange the first date. After that, the two of you decide everything between yourselves. That said, you must always give the woman ¥5,000–¥10,000 for transportation expenses on the first date. A very small number of men seem to think that no money is involved from the second date onward, so I recommend discussing the allowance with him and agreeing on the terms before going on any subsequent dates.

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here. The wording is a little unclear. > Female members who are type B or above What does “or above” mean? I’m not quite sure I understand. Do you mean women who selected Dating Type B? > Don’t many men think that all dates after the second one are just free dating? Once the dinner date arranged by Universe is over, everything becomes free dating. However, when it involves someone you met through a dating club, it’s normal for an allowance to be involved in a free-dating relationship. The terms of that allowance should be discussed between the two people. So even if the second and subsequent dates are dinner only, the two of you should decide how much the allowance will be. If your expectations don’t match, unfortunately, I imagine you’ll simply part ways. If he thinks free dating means no allowance is involved, then I believe he has misunderstood. Please have a proper discussion with him. If it still seems unlikely that you’ll receive an allowance, I think it’s best not to see him again. What the two of you decide is up to you, which is why I consider it free dating. > How should I explain things to someone who thinks no money is involved? You could try saying something like: “Under these terms—whether it’s an adult relationship (intimate), dinner only, a drive, or something else—I’d like an allowance of ___ yen. Is that okay?” If he responds, “Wait, this costs money?” then I think you should take that as an indication of what kind of person he is and say something like: “If there’s no allowance, I’ll head home now.” or “I won’t be able to see you again.” Then it would be best not to meet him anymore. > Can’t we report them to the club after the second date? Please do send us reports whenever you can. That helps the club understand what kind of man he was. In a case like this, even if the club says something to him, I feel he may simply respond, “It’s free dating, isn’t it?” and that will be the end of it. Even so, we’d still appreciate your feedback for the sake of future members.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. Ahaha（笑） From Taro’s answer, it seems some male members negotiate a “free-love” arrangement after the second meeting, so make sure you assess the person carefully and respond accordingly. There are always a few people in this world who simply won’t listen, no matter how many times they’re told. I suppose you should report him to the club（笑）

I’m Kamihikoki, a male member. You mean “free love” where money is involved, right? If you’re looking for a man who won’t provide financial support, there’s no point in saying anything, so let’s end it here. We give you money as an expression of our feelings within this kind of free-love relationship. Please pursue a relationship with someone who feels that way. I also hope you’ll keep in mind, even just a little, that we have genuine feelings for you. It isn’t a thank-you, an obligation, or a matter of negotiation.

I’m in Seattle. Are there really people that foolish? Make sure you ask about the terms of the arrangement upfront.

I’m Taro, a male member. If you don’t like it, just say no. How much you can tolerate and where you draw the line is up to you. It may also depend on the person. I think there’s always a certain percentage of men who want to do it for free or without protection. Some are looking for a cheap-sex-work opportunity, while others are hoping for some kind of genuine-love fantasy. Either way, there will always be a certain number of them, woof. What makes things complicated is that there really are cases where a woman initially refuses but eventually gives in after being pressured, leading to a “Honestly, you’re hopeless, you idiot♡” kind of outcome. Men who’ve had that experience may become deliberate pushers, and since there are always some of those around, things get even more complicated. That’s why I think accepting or rejecting it is a crucial moment for women. If you don’t want to, you should firmly refuse. Social appearances, the flow of the conversation, your relationship with the other person, or what other female members are doing are completely irrelevant. If you feel uncomfortable, that’s all that matters. Even if all six billion people in the world disagreed with you, your judgment would still be right. The important thing is whether you can be honest with yourself. If you firmly say no, they’ll stop in most cases. If they continue anyway, that’s a crime, so you can gather evidence and hold them accountable. In that sense, it’s actually straightforward. Reporting it to the club is fine, but I don’t think they can do much just because someone invited you to private dating. Besides, it’s already after the fact. So rather than waiting for someone else to save you, first develop the mindset to stand up for yourself.

Not really. Since you met through a dating club, the premise is that you’ll be seeing each other. If it’s difficult for you to continue seeing him without an allowance, I think you should make that clear, and if you can’t come to an agreement, there’s no need to meet again. I also think it’s perfectly reasonable to report it even if it happens after the second meeting. Marika

I’m Kazu, a male member. After the meal on the first date, the relationship is up to the two of you. In other words, you’re free to discuss your preferences and decide how you want to date. If the woman says she doesn’t need an allowance, that’s certainly an option. But this is a dating club, so it’s a big mistake for men to expect that. If you’re looking for someone to date without an allowance, shouldn’t you meet them through a dating app or at a singles mixer? To men who have misunderstood, please tell them something like: “This is a dating club. Basically, I believe it’s a place to find someone for a relationship involving an allowance.” I also think it’s a good idea to report it to the club even if it happens on the second date or later. Please do.