I’ve been offered an arrangement to meet once a week for an allowance of 50,000 yen per meeting.

I’m Saito, the columnist ♪ Since we’ve never met, I can’t really tell what you’re like.

I’m BB7, a male member. Hmm… it all feels rather bleak. Men are trying to get the most out of the relationship while offering as little allowance as possible, while women are strategizing to keep a minimum number of men around. I suppose that’s the reality, but wouldn’t it be better for both you and the questioner to end things with your respective partners?

I’m Aya, a female member. If it were me, I’d start by meeting him once a week for a ¥50,000 pay-per-meeting allowance, doing my best to keep him happy. After about three months, I’d gradually give the impression that work was getting busier. I’d say things like, “This month is especially hectic, so it’s really difficult…” or “I’ve been working so hard lately…” and slowly reduce how often we meet. If you win him over in the process, he might become satisfied with meeting just three times a month at ¥50,000 per meeting—or he might offer even better terms because he doesn’t want to let you go. That said, this approach will be seen through unless you’re genuinely dedicated to your daytime job and are a genuinely nice person. There’s also a chance he could lash out if his finances start getting tight. But I’m sure you’ll be fine. Good luck!

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Just as Maezawa said, we really do have amazing personal appeal, lol. I understand why you feel that a monthly 100,000 yen arrangement isn’t really “monthly,” but as I’ve said over and over whenever this question comes up, my personal best is a monthly 50,000 yen arrangement! Maybe I really do have incredible personal appeal, lol. Sorry for making light of it. Speaking generally, I don’t think pay-per-meeting 50,000 yen four times is a bad offer. However, I have a very bad feeling about his insistence on meeting at his home. This is just my speculation, but when a man presents terms before any trust has been established, there’s almost always some kind of ulterior motive—usually not a good one. The questioner’s instincts are probably right. It would be safest to wait and see for a while, until you’ve built up a relationship of trust.

After six years, you should be experienced enough to give a solid answer to a question like this. Otherwise, you’re no different from a beginner. Keep him if you want to; turn him down if you don’t. State what you want, and if he cuts you off, so be it. Is there anything else? Marika

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. After six years, I think you should be able to find a man you can settle into a comfortable arrangement with. From what you’ve written, you seem to have strong insight and good judgment when it comes to sizing people up. It really depends on what matters most to you. If you feel comfortable with someone, I don’t think the allowance is necessarily the only important thing. With that much experience and discernment, you should be able to tell after meeting him two or three times. First, see whether he can meet according to your schedule. If he can, I’d suggest meeting him a couple of times. If you’re usually expected to accommodate his schedule, I don’t think he’s worth meeting at all.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I read your question. <Thoughts> That’s a very carefully thought-out plan（笑） I think it would be when the man starts to feel that something seems off and checks into it, confirming his suspicions. To be blunt, two months! I don’t think it would last three（笑）

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, with an answer as well. It’s simple. I think you should agree to a pay-per-meeting arrangement of 50,000 yen once a week. That way, you can keep him on standby. But you don’t want to meet him four times a month? No problem. One of those times can be during your period. Even if the timing is a little off, just say you’re on your period that day, and move it to the following week. That eliminates one meeting. For another meeting, you can say something like, “Work has been really busy that day…” That brings it down to once every other week. For example, people in sales are busy at the end of the month, while people in accounting are busy at the beginning of the month. You just need to establish, within your own story, that you’re busy around those times. The problem is that men can see this answer too, isn’t it? >< I’d rather tell women only… Also, somehow try to make the terms hotel-only, since going to his place is scary. You could say, “I’m scared of going to someone’s place, so I’d like 70,000 yen per meeting,” or something like that. I understand wanting to keep him as an option, but if his place is one of the conditions, I don’t think you need to keep him around. You can’t tell whether there are hidden cameras in someone’s home, so I think it’s scary. (Once you’ve been seeing someone for over a year and know you can trust him, then going to his place might be okay.) As for the allowance: Maybe you assumed 50,000 yen was fine after reading the Q&A, but it seems you haven’t realized that 50,000 yen is actually on the low end. The Q&A respondents have exceptional people skills. Very few men never receive negative feedback from women in the first place. Even if a man behaves normally, women may still leave negative feedback. It can happen over something as minor as a misunderstanding. If someone never receives any, that person must be exceptionally impressive. If a man has that level of people skills, a woman might accept an allowance of 50,000 yen from him. But when an ordinary man offers 50,000 yen—or any low allowance—it’s only natural for things to turn out this way. It seems he doesn’t know that many men pay 100,000 yen or more for a good woman. I guess it’s a case of a frog in a well knowing nothing of the ocean? Of course, if the man himself were attractive, this probably wouldn’t happen. A man from one of our branches applied to become a respondent, but I turned him down because there had been complaints from women. Then I received a protest through the branch staff. I can’t go into detail, but since there will now be a staff-recommendation category—with the staff member taking responsibility—it seems that, going forward, some men who have received complaints from women may also become respondents. Ah, I know this might make people wonder whether the next respondent is one of them, so I should defend him in advance, since that wouldn’t be fair. We’ve received applications from several people, and some are still waiting, so it doesn’t mean that the next male respondent is one of those men. I’m just saying that it may be possible for someone like that to slip through in the future.

I’m Kazu, a male member. > 10 a month isn’t what you’d call a monthly arrangement, Regardless of the amount, if you agree on a set monthly payment, I’d consider that a monthly arrangement. > If she agrees to those terms, then makes excuses every month to meet only twice and turns down trips, how long can I keep things going this way? That depends on the man, as well as how satisfied he is with his relationship with you when you meet, so there’s no way to say exactly how long it will last. I don’t think you should undersell yourself by accepting an allowance that doesn’t match what you want.