I’m Maezawa from the club’s executive office, and I’ll answer this as well.
In my answer to the previous question, I wrote:
> To be on the safe side, it’s better to receive the allowance for the meal first.
> Then, after receiving the meal allowance, I think you should discuss how much the terms for anything after that will be.
> Otherwise, a man who says “50,000 yen for an adult relationship” may actually mean the same as 40,000 yen.
So I thought you might have read that and wondered, “Wait, I’ve never received it.”
When the club explains things to women, we tell them:
“When a man brings up the allowance, confirm whether the meal allowance is included or separate, and discuss it with him.”
What this means is that many men prefer to include the meal allowance in the total, so the club takes the position that either arrangement is fine.
However, we tell women to confirm this because otherwise it may end up meaning that they don’t receive the meal allowance at all. Since women are nervous during the interview, they may forget, and it’s also possible that a staff member may forget to explain it.
That’s why, in my answer to the previous question, I wrote:
“To be on the safe side, it’s better to receive the allowance for the meal first.”
Ideally, the club asks men to hand over the meal allowance in advance, so you should normally receive it separately. However, men may use various excuses because they want to avoid handing over as much money as possible.
Men who say they want to pay later may not pay after the meal either, instead trying to pay everything after the adult relationship.
But the reason men forget to give women the 5,000–10,000 yen meal allowance is that they get turned down after the meal and simply go home.
So even though they could avoid forgetting by paying in advance, some men stubbornly insist on paying later, then don’t pay afterward either and just leave.
It’s their own stinginess that causes the problem, yet I sometimes wonder what kind of person refuses to follow the club’s request.
Honestly, I almost wish they would have to pay the club an additional 10,000 yen as a fee whenever they forgot. If it really isn’t that much trouble, then they should simply pay in advance in the first place. The people who cause the most trouble are often the ones who never consider the inconvenience they cause others… It’s frustrating.
But getting back to the question:
> In this kind of situation, is it okay to ask for transportation costs and a separate meal allowance in addition to the allowance for the adult relationship?
If you ask for it separately in the hotel room, it may create tension and make it difficult for things to go well afterward.
So I think it’s best to make sure you receive the 5,000–10,000 yen meal allowance before the meal is over.
In this situation, the best approach is to put the responsibility on the club by saying, “The club told me to make sure I receive it.”
Were you not told that?
That’s not true. If you come to us saying, “He didn’t give me anything. Can you do something about it?” you’ll definitely be asked, “Why didn’t you ask him for it?”
With that in mind, the club does tell women to ask the man for it if they haven’t received it.
If you still haven’t received it by the end of the meal, you may end up leaving then and there. You could say that you had been planning to part ways, but decided to continue seeing him because he offered 10,000 yen rather than 5,000 yen.
So if he asks, “What do you think about what comes next?” before you’ve received the meal allowance—or even if he doesn’t ask anything—say something like:
“I’m sorry, but the club told me to make sure I receive the meal allowance…”
Then ask him to give it to you.
Even if the man is wondering how things will proceed afterward, it’s difficult for him to say that he won’t pay, so he will probably hand it over.
After receiving it, I think it’s best to discuss the terms of the arrangement that follows.
However, if even that seems difficult, you could negotiate by adding 10,000 yen to the allowance you want from the outset.
If you were thinking 50,000 yen, ask for 60,000 yen instead.
That might mean you end up parting ways that day. But if you receive the 10,000 yen meal allowance when you leave, you could then try saying:
“Actually, I’d be willing to go for 50,000 yen after all. Would you still like to?”
Men can be sensitive, so sometimes they may simply say, “No, it’s fine now.” That makes it difficult to say whether this strategy is a good one.
Still, it may be worth considering all your options.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
You’re free to ask for whatever you want. Not just transportation costs—“bad weather allowances” because it’s raining, “late-night allowances” because it’ll be late, anything goes. Whether he actually pays is another matter. If I were the one being asked, I’d just think, “I’ve run into a money-guzzler,” and call it a day.
Transportation costs are a must for the first meeting, but optional from the second onward.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
In this answer, “transportation money” refers to the ¥5,000–¥10,000 given to a woman when she comes to a first date, as stipulated by the club’s rules.
People may see it differently, but I believe the reason the club sets a transportation allowance is that it would be upsetting for a woman to accept an offer, get ready, and make the trip, only to be told, “I’m not interested in you. Goodbye,” without receiving anything. In other words, it’s “transportation money” to have her come for the first meeting. The reason it’s called transportation money rather than an allowance is probably simply that they don’t want to call it an allowance.
That’s why I don’t give transportation money for dates after the second one. It’s no longer a first meeting.
Of course, some men may still give it on subsequent dates. You seem to be the type who sets out the details separately—so much for transportation and so much for the allowance.
You’re free to see things differently from me and believe that transportation money should be paid separately from the allowance every time, and you’re free to ask for it.
You’re also free to believe that the allowance for dinner and an adult relationship (intimate) should be separate, and to ask for that as well. I think you should simply confirm and request it when discussing the allowance with the man or when receiving it.
