His car used to be clean inside and out when we first started dating, but lately it’s filthy.

I’m Hikouki, a male member. “​​The floor is covered in trash.” That may be taking it a bit too far, but… Looking at it from a different angle, perhaps he drives his car exactly as usual and deliberately keeps it from looking too clean so his family won’t get suspicious. In other words, he may be thinking about maintaining a long-term relationship with you. You could even interpret the fact that it hasn’t been clean lately and has remained messy as meaning that he hasn’t started seeing any new women or made any new offers. For reference, whenever a club woman gets in my car, she always says, “It smells so nice!”—thanks to the car air freshener. However, my daughter says, “It stinks. I don’t want to ride in this car,” and my wife says, “There’s no way you could be having an affair in a car this filthy.” Also, when I leave the house, I wear clothes that would make going on a date impossible—and change before the date. Keeping both your car and your clothes from looking suspicious is a very effective way to maintain things unchanged over the long term. That said, if you’re going on a date, a clean, comfortable car would definitely be better. Am I interpreting this too generously…?

I’m Taro, a male member. Simply put, I think it’s because you’ve become the safe, convenient option for him. Some people think that the amount of money and effort a man puts in correlates with his feelings, but that’s not necessarily true. From a man’s perspective, there’s another factor: the risk of losing you. If he really likes a woman and feels he might lose her, he’ll pour money and effort into preventing that. But once he’s secured the relationship and no longer feels that risk, he stops spending as much money or making as much effort. That’s what people mean by “once you’ve caught the fish, you stop feeding it.” He does have feelings for you. He’s just relaxed and letting himself get lazy because he no longer feels he could lose you. As a countermeasure, try getting angry, sulking, or acting a little pouty. Of course, there’s also a risk that he might end things, so pay close attention to how he responds. Many people think negotiations in a dating club are just about negotiating the allowance at the first meeting, but that’s mistaken. The give-and-take needed to build a good long-term relationship is extremely important. For a man, the ideal woman is someone wonderful and lovable, who always feels fresh, is just a little demanding, and makes him feel like he can’t help but put in time and effort—while making that effort enjoyable and rewarding. If you become that kind of woman, I’m sure the relationship will last a long time. The fact that you’ve finished the beginner level and are now facing an advanced challenge is a good sign. Work hard to clear this hurdle and move on to the next stage.

When you first started dating, perhaps his wife was pregnant or away at her parents’ home for the birth. Now that the baby has been born and they’re back home, maybe the child has started making a mess. Personally, what bothers me more than the mess is being able to see his entire life behind the scenes and having his wife’s and child’s faces flash through my mind. Marika

Maezawa from the president’s office here, answering as well. I think he probably stopped cleaning it. There could be various reasons, but taking his words at face value, maybe he gave up caring because the kids make a mess again right after he cleans it. If that’s the case, though, he could prepare another car or simply avoid going on dates in the car. The fact that he doesn’t makes me think he may not be very considerate. The way you asked the question also makes it sound like you may be looking for a reason to break up. If you’re okay with ending things, you could try saying something like: “I don’t want to go on another date in a car that hasn’t been cleaned. If it’s still like this next time, I’m ending things.” If that makes him realize how serious you are and he comes with a properly cleaned car, there may still be some hope. But if he continues making excuses, I think it would be fine to break up.

I’m Kazu, a male member. For a different reason, I recently told someone I’ve been seeing regularly, “You’ve been letting your guard down lately, haven’t you?” I think that’s probably what it is. I don’t think she’s stopped caring. As a relationship continues and both people get used to each other, I think it’s natural for both sides to become a little careless. Have you also been letting your guard down compared with when you first started seeing him? If she continues to be this careless, I’m thinking of gradually responding less often when she says she wants to see me.