I’ll answer as Maezawa from the president’s office.
> I agreed to meet because he simply invited me to have dinner.
With an invitation phrased that way, I think it was reasonable to assume it would be dinner only. So when he suggested going to a hotel afterward, you could have declined.
From the man’s perspective, perhaps he initially intended to have dinner only, but after meeting you, he felt like going to a hotel.
> I feel like I was scammed because the allowance was so low.
I think you should have negotiated properly on the spot—not afterward. When he invited you to the hotel, you could have said something like, “Would it be okay if I received the same allowance as usual?” and negotiated from there.
If he said, “The same amount even though it was only oral?” you could have replied, “In that case, I’m going home today. I’m sorry. I had a lovely time at dinner, and I look forward to seeing you again next time,” and then left.
Ideally, even without having to say anything, the man should have had the consideration to give you the same amount as usual. But I think he’s still a beginner who doesn’t really understand how these things work.
Calling it “raising” a man may sound presumptuous, but I think it’s okay for women to approach it with the idea that they need to guide him to some extent.
In situations like this, it’s best to gently explain things—for example: “I’d be happy to receive the same allowance as usual, and it would make me want to continue seeing you.”
Many men assume they’re doing everything right because no one has taught them otherwise. Unless someone explains it to them, they may simply remain unaware.
This time was unfortunate, but please do your best going forward.
In any case, when it comes to this particular man, even if he says it’ll be dinner only, I think it would be safer to decline by saying you already have plans that day.
I’m Hikouki, a male member.
When I read the first two lines, I thought they had been written by a male member.
That’s how strongly I feel that I wouldn’t go to a hotel unless the woman explicitly agreed or invited me.
So that man is extremely rare.
Teramoto from Universe Club’s Tokyo branch here.
I’m sure not all men are like that—actually, I’m certain they aren’t.
That said, as Kazu, one of our male members, also mentioned, everyone’s idea of “normal” is different. So when meeting one-on-one, it may be a good idea to prepare yourself in advance by thinking, “What if things start heading in that direction?”
I’m Kazu, a male member.
If the invitation is simply, “I’d like to see you, so let’s grab a meal,” then in my view, that doesn’t include sex.
It seems that man’s idea of what’s normal differs from yours and mine.
