It makes me sad to think that, despite being a company president and all, this is all he’s willing to spend on me. I feel like the value of ¥10,000 to him is very different from what it means to me. He said he’d book a luxury hotel so we could feel like we were going on a trip during Golden Week, but the room we actually stayed in cost ¥50,000 for one night.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. What are you talking about? Of course people have different values. You say you were dissatisfied with a room costing ¥50,000, but you could have simply declined. And if you wanted to stay in a nicer room, you could have paid for it yourself.

I’m in Seattle. Did the person asking this grow up in Denenchofu or Ashiya? I’ve been seeing someone for nine years who refuses to stay anywhere but Dormy Inn. Their breakfast buffet and late-night ramen are pretty good, though.

I’m Aya, a female member. Generally speaking, the wealthier a papa becomes, the more he tends to spend on women who are important to him (though there are exceptions). So, getting an eco-bag for your birthday makes me feel that he may not be all that interested in keeping you around—or perhaps he simply doesn’t value the relationship that much. Try asking him what kinds of presents he used to give his wife or ex-girlfriends. If his gifts were inexpensive, or he says, “I’ve never really cared much about birthday presents in the first place,” then that’s probably just how he is. It may simply come down to a difference in values.

I’m Taro, a male member. The idea that “the amount of money he spends on you equals the depth of his love” is pretty misguided. It actually made me realize that this must be what people mean by a money-minded woman, so in that sense, thanks. Generally speaking, ¥50,000 for one night is a luxury hotel. And generally, business owners tend to be stricter about money. Some people have assets worth a billion yen but still don’t want to waste even a single yen. I don’t think most men generally try to express affection through money. Of course, some do, but they’re probably a fairly niche group. I can’t understand the thinking behind giving an eco-bag as a birthday present, but if it was meant as a joke, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. As for your question, I don’t think the man’s feelings are fake. It just seems that your values aren’t compatible.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too. I can understand how you feel, since TV shows often feature suites that cost hundreds of thousands of yen per night. But if it’s a room costing ¥50,000 a night, I don’t think that’s particularly bad. Of course, it also depends on the other person’s income and assets. Even if someone earns more than ¥40 million a year, people have different ways of spending their money. Everyone also values different things. A famous example is the story that Bill Gates, the immensely wealthy founder of Microsoft, used to fly economy class instead of first class. Though he probably has a private jet, so it may not be relevant anymore—and when you look into it, the story seems to have turned into something of an urban legend. Apparently, a ticket that Microsoft Japan had arranged was mistakenly issued as a first-class ticket. One website says he got angry and said: “Is Microsoft Japan really the kind of company that wastes money like this? What is this first-class boarding pass? Why would you waste the company’s money on a flight of just over an hour?” So I get the feeling it may not be entirely untrue. That said, it was apparently a route with only economy and first class—although that seems a little odd, since on routes with just two classes, first class is usually the one that gets removed—and a ticket originally arranged as business class had been automatically upgraded to first class. Even so, I think how someone chooses to spend money largely depends on that person’s values. With that in mind, I think your partner is simply someone who considers a ¥50,000 room to be luxurious. You don’t need to feel sad about it. > My birthday present wasn’t a bag—it was an eco-bag. As for the present, though, I can’t help feeling that perhaps his feelings for you aren’t all that strong.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think it’s fair to call a room costing 50,000 yen a night a luxury hotel. At that price, maybe somewhere like the Ritz-Carlton? Would you have been unhappy with anything other than Aman Tokyo? It seems the value of 10,000 yen to that man and to you differs in the opposite way from what you suggested in your question. It may not be that his feelings were fake; perhaps there’s simply a gap in your values.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. If that’s what you both think, then it must be a lie… It sounds like the two of you are just trying to deceive each other… Is ¥50,000 the regular price, or is it only that expensive because it’s Golden Week? If ¥50,000 is the actual cost, it doesn’t seem too bad—but at a love hotel, you could get an open-air bath, sauna, hot stone spa, massage chair, karaoke, and costumes, and still get change back…