About a first date: Would women be dissatisfied with something casual, like chatting for about an hour over a few light snacks at a nearby bar or café, rather than having a proper meal in a private room?

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I always have first dates in private rooms. Honestly, I can’t bring myself to do a first date anywhere that isn’t private. Isn’t it incredibly difficult to hand over the allowance without anyone else seeing?

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here as well. Hmm… I think you’re misunderstanding something. If you believe anything is fine as long as the woman isn’t dissatisfied, then you’ve got it wrong from the outset. Why aren’t you thinking about how to gain an advantage over other men? Are you really so popular that beautiful women flock to you wherever you go, and you’ve lived a host-like life where women actually shower you with money? Well, I hear even hosts put a tremendous amount of effort into pleasing women. Your overconfidence is getting out of hand. First, think about how you can get women to take an interest in you. To achieve that, it’s not enough merely to keep women from being dissatisfied. You need to take them somewhere that makes them think, “I can’t believe he brought me to such a wonderful place.” A private room will also score you more points. That said, some women in dating types C and D would rather you put the money toward their allowance than spend it on an expensive meal. For that kind of woman, even a café might satisfy her if you give her an allowance of ¥100,000 or ¥200,000. But there’s no way to know that before meeting her. So for the first meal, I think you should focus on earning as many points with her as possible. > Especially for women in types A and B, would you agree to a date where you can’t eat the kind of expensive, delicious food mentioned above, in exchange for transportation expenses of up to ¥10,000? “Up to ¥10,000”? (Laughs) There’s no upper limit to what the man can pay. Some men spend ¥30,000 or ¥50,000 just on the meal—even on the first meeting. So if you’re going to ask, the question should probably be: “Even if you can’t eat the kind of expensive, delicious food mentioned above, would you be okay with transportation expenses of ¥30,000?” I think you need to broaden your perspective.

I’m Aya, a female member. I was a Type B. I’ve never had a first date at a coffee shop. So I might be a little surprised and think, “Oh, he’s focused on getting the most bang for his buck,” which could be a turnoff. I briefly thought a bar might work, but the bartender’s watchful gaze can feel uncomfortable, so I wouldn’t recommend it. Also, with COVID still around, some people may not want to go to a small, crowded bar. In other words, if a rival papa (a male supporter) arranges a lovely dinner in a proper private room and offers the same transportation allowance, meeting at a coffee shop puts you at a serious disadvantage. Unless he’s an incredibly handsome older man, many women don’t want people around them to see them having a meal alone with an older guy. A private room is probably the safest choice.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I think it’s best to establish a routine that works well for you. Any format is fine, but the safest option is to reserve a private room and have a meal together. Also: > Would you agree to a date where you can’t even eat anything expensive or delicious, for a maximum transportation allowance of ¥10,000? How can you even ask something like that? The allowance should be higher to make up for it—that’s what I’d think even as a man…

I’m Kazu, a male member. Some women seem to prefer that option. I think it really depends on the woman, as well as the man making the offer—everyone feels differently. Personally, though, I don’t like choosing cafés as a date spot because they’re often impossible to reserve.